Sweet Family of Mine
by Sandylee007
Summary: Sequel to Sweet Child of Mine.  A year has passed when a case brings Morgan and Reid to work together. How will things change when fickle fate and the UnSub meddle with their affairs?  SLASH, mentions of M-PREG. MorganxReidxmaleOC   A POTENTIAL SEVEN-SHOT
1. Prologue

A/N: Yeah, I know I said it'd take a week or two before the sequel is out. But I got a jab of inspiration, and here we are. (grins)

First off, thank you so much for all those reviews for the prequel! You can't even imagine how good it feels to know so many of you were looking forward to this sequel. (GLOMPS) It looks like the prequel was loved. I really hope you'll enjoy this one as much!

WARNINGS: SLASH, mentions of M-PREG, adult themes, a touch of gore… You know, such fun. (smirks sheepishly)

DISCLAIMER: Uh-huh… If I did own anything of 'CM' there'd deffinitely be a lot more money on my bank-account than there currently is…

Awkay… (gulps) I'm always extremely nervous when it comes to posting the first chapter, so I need to get this done. I really, REALLY hope you'll have a good ride!

* * *

**_Sweet Family of Mine_**

* * *

CHAPTER 1: Prologue

* * *

Twenty three year old Jeremy Baker yawned loudly while making his way through the university's dark, isolated hallways. His swimming-training had taken a lot longer than he'd expected, and at the moment all his body desired the comfort of his huge bed.

Fate, however, seemed to have other plans.

Jeremy frowned and froze, with chills running through him, when he suddenly sensed a presence. "Is someone in there?" There was no response. He grit his teeth, fighting to keep his tone even as he barked out again. "You idiots, if this is some sort of a sick joke…!"

Suddenly everything happened in a flash. Jeremy couldn't even scream when a sharp needle pierced the tender skin of his neck. "Now it's your turn", a voice hissed into his ear.

* * *

Spencer squinted his eyes in the afternoon's cruel light as he stood behind a door in the hospital. He felt a headache kicking in, and wondered if it was because of lack of sleep or too little caffeine. His body felt oddly heavy while he breathed in deep, then finally opened the door and entered. "Hey Shawn", he greeted, taking off his jacket and placing it slowly to a chair that'd been left nearby the door for some reason. "It looks like the rain finally stopped. Though I guess it's statistically impossible that it'd rain two weeks in a roll here." He frowned when noticing that there was actually very little light in the room. "What are you doing here in the dark?" he muttered, then walked to the window to open the blinds. He immediately regretted the rapid action when light filled his eyes, blinding him for a long moment before focusing on the two rings that decorated his left hand.

He stood absolutely still for almost a full minute, letting his eyes rest on the sky where two birds were flying, before managing to gather the will to turn towards the bed only three steps away. Instead of Shawn's voice machines gave Spencer a greeting as he met the man's face, which seemed as peaceful as if the other had been sleeping. But this sleep had lasted far too long. Two months and three days, to be exact.

Almost a year ago they'd started their life in Quantico.

Eight months ago they'd been married in a tiny ceremony where only their nearest and dearest had been present.

Two months ago Spencer had been making dinner when he got a phone call, saying there'd been an accident. Apparently Shawn had been on his way home when he got into a collision with a drunk driver. The drunk driver escaped the entire thing without a scratch. Shawn, on the other hand, was already in a emergency surgery when he dashed into the hospital. Spencer hadn't seen his husband awake since.

Spencer hadn't felt as much in his whole life so far as he had during the past two months. If it wasn't for Morgan – whose constantly increasing presence in his life threw him into a turmoil – his former team, and especially for Joey, he would've most likely lost his mind. Anger, terror, sadness… All emotions had blurred together, and Spencer couldn't even remember the last time he'd been able to honestly say how he was feeling.

After another minute Spencer finally managed to move. He walked forward slowly, eventually slumped into the all too familiar, torturously uncomfortable chair that'd been left beside the bed. He took Shawn's hand and gave it a squeeze. Although he knew it was foolish to hope for anything else he felt a sharp twinge when there was no response.

Spencer swallowed, taking a moment or two to put his straying thoughts together. "Jo… Her teacher, Mrs. Ramirez, wanted to talk to me today. She said Jo's one of the brightest kids she's ever seen. She… She said that Jo could easily jump over a class; she told me Miss Hudson would love to take Jo to her class, if I'd give my permission." He shook his head, futilely trying to clear it. "I… I didn't know how to respond, not yet. I just… I keep having flashbacks of my own school time. It'stupid, but I guess that's still bugging me." It took quite a bit of bravery, but he looked right at Shawn's eyes. Those dark eyes still wouldn't open. "That's… why we agreed you'd be the one to make the decisions on her schooling, remember?"

Again instead of Shawn the machines answered. And Spencer had never, ever hated any other sound as much.

Noticing a black strand of hair on Shawn's forehead he frowned and used a single finger to put it back in line. On the way he accidentally brushed the skin of the man's face and felt squirming in his stomach upon discovering the heat.

Fever. Another infection.

Spencer grit his teeth, fighting to calm himself with deep and even breaths. It didn't work at all, but at least he was doing something. "I miss you." It took a long moment before he realized that the raspy voice had crawled out of his throat. He was slightly surprised to discover he hadn't actually spoken those words out loud since the entire turmoil began. He licked his lips, everything in his head spinning. "I… I miss you, and so does Jo. So… Wake up." _Please._ "Come back to us already."

He didn't know how long the silence lasted until he heard a sound. "Hi Spence." That voice mixing in his head with another he instinctively glanced towards Shawn's face before turning his gaze to see a young female nurse with long, red hair and warm brown eyes – Laura, she'd introduced herself – walking towards the bed. She flashed him a smile that, mercifully, held no pity. A lot of people in the hospital seemed to pity him these days. "How's the patient doing?" she inquired while starting to change the emptied bag of fluids that'd ran into Shawn's vein.

Spencer took a moment to collect himself. "He's… stable. But I think he has fever."

Laura placed her hand briefly to Shawn's forehead and frowned. "I think you're right. I'll inform Dr. Riley about this."

Spencer nodded, not knowing if there was anything else he could've done. Feeling helpless and useless he watched how Laura treated Shawn with experienced motions. He couldn't understand why he still felt so uncomfortable and out of place when he came into this room, even now after two months.

"You're allowed to feel a bit lost, you know?" Laura's eyes were filled with sympathy when she glanced towards him. "This is one of those situations where no one expects you to know what to do. I'm sure Shawn would agree with me. What matters to him is that you're here – it's all you can do. So stop looking so guilty."

To even his own surprise Spencer managed a feeble, extremely frail smile.

Laura grinned. "That looks much better." She then came to think of something. "You know… I'm going to give Shawn a little wash-up. Do you want to help?"

Spencer was stunned for a while, even blushed a little, before he managed to nod. She was the first one who'd ever suggested that. "Thanks."

* * *

An hour and a half later Spencer parked to the yard of his and Shawn's house. Once again he wasn't sure what he felt when seeing Derek sitting beside Joey on the swing that'd, once upon a time, been one of those reasons he and Shawn had chosen the house. He waited for a moment before climbing out of the car and approaching the two.

Joey grinned, then jumped up and rushed over to give him a huge hug. "Hi daddy!" She then grew a lot more serious. "How was papa-Shawn?"

Spencer tried his hardest to keep at least some of the turmoil inside away from his face. "He's… still sleeping. But he's holding on tight. And I've got a feeling he misses you."

Joey nodded, appearing very solemn for a six-year-old. "I miss him, too."

Deciding that it was time to distract her, Spencer attempted to grin a little. "You know what? I think we're going to have a pizza-day today. Why don't you go and make some salad? I'll be there in a bit."

It worked like magic. Joey's face lit up as she nodded eagerly, then turned towards Derek. "I'll show you some new magic tricks this weekend", she promised.

Derek grinned and ruffled her hair, making her snort. "I'll be looking forward to that, kid."

With that the girl hurried inside. As soon as she'd gone Derek got up, appearing surprisingly hesitant. "Hey."

"Hey", he greeted, unsure what else to say. For the about a millionth time he found himself missing those days when it'd been easy to talk to Derek, to be around the man.

Derek cleared his throat before talking again. "I… took her to the library – she was thinking about Shawn, so I thought it'd cheer her up."

Spencer's muscles relaxed slightly. "I'm sure it did." He breathed. "Morgan… Thanks, for doing this. I know it wasn't your day, but…"

Derek interrupted him with a wave of hand. The man then seemed to know with just a single glance. He wondered if anyone else had seen the man's eyes turn the way they did then. "You went to the hospital, huh?"

He ran a hand through his hair, which had grown long once more. Apparently he hadn't remembered to arrange a barber's appointment. "Yeah." He didn't want to talk about it, really. Especially with Derek. For some ridiculous reason it would've felt like cheating on Shawn.

Derek seemed to understand, because the man simply nodded before dropping the subject. Instead the dark skinned man focused his eyes on the house's door. "I… know this isn't easy for you, me spending this much time with Jo. So thank you."

Reid took a breath, realizing that his chest felt a lot tighter than it should've. "You already lost over five years, so…" He trailed off, wondering what it was he really wanted to say. True, the past year had been one of the longest in his life. But…

The sound of Derek's phone cut that dangerous line of thought. The man took a second before picking up. "Hey Hotch." Derek's expression immediately told what was to come. "I'll be there in five." Once hanging up the man looked at him, his eyes appearing almost troubled. "We've got a new case. Are you sure you'll be okay alone?"

Spencer nodded, trying to appear convincing. "Honestly, I think I need some time to clear my head. But… Thanks." Besides, although a part of him protested such a thought he had a feeling Derek's presence would only make things more complicated.

Derek's jaw tightened for a second. "'K. I'll call you later, to see how you're doing."

He nodded once more. "Tell everyone I said 'hi'."

"I will." And so Derek turned, then walked away with visible reluctance. The weight of all that'd been left unsaid was crushingly heavy on both their shoulders.

After a while Spencer braced himself, gathered absolutely all his strength and turned around, entering the house.

Once he made it to the kitchen Joey was already starting to chop tomatoes. She frowned slightly when looking at him. "Are you okay, daddy?"

It wasn't until then Spencer realized his eyes stung. He blinked furiously and tried to smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." He then chose to distract her once more while while starting the search for pizza-ingredients. "So, how was your school day?"

As Joey started babbling excitedly Spencer found it slightly easier to distract himself as well, to set his thoughts free from the vicious cycle they'd been trapped into. He never noticed the single tear that slipped to his cheek, drying out of existence soon enough.

* * *

In the BAU-headquarters Derek found himself fighting to focus on the case-briefing.

"Jeremy Baker, 23." JJ showed them the picture of a very athletic, undeniably good looking man with neatly cut brown hair and deep blue eyes. "The university's football hero, loved by pretty much everyone. His body was found from the football-field this morning." She grit her teeth once showing them the picture of his corpse. They could all see there was a text 'Your turn' engraved to his bare chest by a knife. "He'd been stabbed five times. And… according to the police, he'd been castrated brutally before his death. He'd been drugged to a condition where he couldn't protect himself."

Silence fell into the room, making it turn cold. The only hint of relief was how David Rossi shifted with discomfort once taking in JJ's information, muttering something that sounded like "Shit…".

This was their third murder of this type in less than a month – too many to be a coincidence. And all the murders had taken place in the same university where Spencer had been working for the past eleven months.

It was a relatively small university. According to all statistics Spencer must've at least seen the UnSub. Perhaps he'd even have a suspect if he'd be introduced to the profile they'd managed to gather so far.

Derek was glad Aaron spoke the words before he had to. "It's more than likely that the killer will strike again." The unit-chief grit his teeth. "I think we should ask Reid for help."

* * *

TBC, or not?

* * *

A/N: So… (gulps) What's the verdict? Was that any good, at all, or should pull off the plug on this thing?

**PLEASE**, let me hear your thoughts! It'd be extremely important to me, especially since this is the first chapter. (gives huge puppy's eyes)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read! ('Almost made a spelling error there…) (grins)

Until next time, folks, with whichever story that may be!

Peace out!


	2. Shadows of the Life Left Behind

A/N: Hiya guys – I'm back! (grins)

BUT, before introducing the new chapter for you… THANK YOU, so much, for all those fantastic reviews! (glomps) I'm always nervous when sending the fist chapter, so it means a lot to me that so many of you wanted this to continue. So thank you! (hugs once more)

Awkay, because I'm in a bit of hurry… (takes a breath) Let's go! I REALLY hope this one turns out to be a good ride!

* * *

CHAPTER 2: Shadows of the Life Left Behind

* * *

Dr. – or professor, as he was called nowadays – Spencer Reid was well aware of his reputation amongst the university's students. Most of them feared his math-classes above anything else, although he wasn't entirely sure why. His equations weren't _that_ challenging, were they? But he also knew he was admired by those students who actually understood him and, apparently, by a huge part of the university's female population. He found such attention unsettling and embarrassing, and wondered exactly when someone had talked _him_ of all people into teaching.

But although he wasn't a natural born teacher, there were a lot of things about his job Spencer enjoyed. He'd always felt at ease with numbers and equations. It was unfortunate most of his students didn't share the passion.

"… by following that pattern, comes the conclusion that x=23." He turned towards his class, focusing his attention on the very young, petite woman with shortcut curly ginger hair – Dana Allbright – who'd been brave enough to ask for a clarification. "Did that clear it out?"

Dana stared back at him with wide, almost startled green eyes.

Another student, a quite attractive twenty year old latino called Carlos Juentes raised his hand, appearing almost as petrified as Dana. "How much of the tasks do we have to get right in the final exam to pass this class?"

Spencer blinked twice. "Fifty percent. Why?"

His answer pulled a set of groans from the students.

Suddenly Spencer felt that he was being watched. Turning his gaze to side with a slight frown he felt a shudder inside. Right behind the room's door stood Derek Morgan. The look on the man's face didn't promise anything good.

Fighting to keep himself under control Spencer licked his lips before talking in a voice he didn't recognize. "There's… something I need to take care of. I'll be back in a bit." He turned towards the chalkboard and started writing. "In the meantime, solve this." Stiffled moans filled the room as he wrote 'Find the value for x in the expression x/3 + x - 6/3 = 0'.

* * *

Derek couldn't keep himself from grinning as Spencer emerged from the room. "You sure know how to torture those poor kids."

Spencer blinked twice with sincere surprise. "What do you mean?"

Trying to keep his expression in line Derek shook his head. "Forget it." He then grew a lot more solemn with cold filling him. This was the part he'd been dreading. "There's… I need to ask you to do me, and BAU, a favor." He'd stalled for a full week before coming here but now… He couldn't avoid this anymore.

Spencer's expression told the man caught on immediately. There was a long pause as the brunet leaned against the wall, focusing his eyes on the window and the landscape outside. "Is this about a case?"

Derek didn't bother nodding because Spencer wouldn't have seen it. "You've heard that three students of this university have been murdered, right? We have a profile, but… We need someone who knows these kids to get somewhere with it." He held a pause. "And that's why we thought of you."

The silence that followed seemed to stretch until eternity. The only noises cracking it were the sounds coming from nearby classrooms.

In the end Derek sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. "Look… We're not forcing you to do this – trust me, we'd all understand if you wouldn't feel ready. But…"

"Morgan." Spencer's voice was softer than he'd expected when the younger man interrupted him, not looking his way. "Three students have died already. So… If I can help, I will."

Derek nodded, not knowing what to say. Somehow a simple 'Thank you' would've sounded out of place.

They were both so absorbed by their thoughts that they jumped when Derek's cell phone chose to start ringing. He took a look to discover a familiar name flashing on the screen. "It's Hotch", Derek explained, a hint of irritation in his voice. It felt like there were too many things up in the air. He wouldn't have wanted to leave yet.

Spencer gave a faint nod, clearly preparing to walk away. "I'll… stop by at the office tomorrow, so you can give me a profile. Then we'll see what I can do."

"Okay." Feeling a sudden need to leave he shifted. "See you tomorrow." Then, just before leaving, he was unable to resist adding. "Oh, and Reid?" He went on once getting the brunet's full attention. "Be careful."

For a moment one corner of Spencer's lips twitched as the man, without a doubt, remembered several occasions from the past. "You too. See you tomorrow."

With that Spencer walked back into the classroom. Derek found himself lingering there for at least two minutes, watching Spencer through the glass on the classroom's door, before managing to convince himself into turning around and leaving.

* * *

Once he made it back to the class Spencer had hard time keeping all that was spinning inside him from showing on his face.

It was incredible and unnerving that still, after seven years, Derek could make him feel this way.

He cleared his throat before focusing on his students. "So… How many of you managed to solve the equation already?"

Exactly one tentative hand rose.

* * *

As he did very often these days Spencer used his lunch hour to visit Shawn in the hospital. The news he received on arrival weren't exactly uplifting.

Shawn did have a infection, just as he'd been dreading. Tests and several symtoms also showed that his husband's kidneys were failing. Shawn's doctor was already considering if dialysis would be necessary.

Spencer felt like someone had hit him with a sledgehammer as he sat beside his husband's bed, holding the man's cool hand in his slightly unsteady one. As he fumbled for words he missed the time when Shawn had been awake and it'd been easy to for them to talk about anything. "So, I… Morgan came by today, and… he asked me to help the team with a case. I said yes, before I even knew what was happening." He swallowed thickly, the unexplainable feeling that he was cheating on his husband striking him with a wave of guilt. "I know, that I promised to stop working as a agent for the sake of my sanity, but… I have to do this. And I hope you understand." He looked at the man's face, futilely hoping for any sort of a reaction. A lump formed in his throat. "I promise I'll stay as safe as possible. I have every reason to."

All of a sudden Spencer shivered, because he could've sworn he felt the slightest twitch in the hand he was holding. The lump in his throat grew, making his eyes sting, when he came to a conclusion that he'd been imagining things again.

* * *

Derek knew he was a lot of things, but a foul player wasn't one of them. That's why he was well aware of the fact that his deeds were ethically questionable as he walked through the hospital's hallways, his steps slow and slightly hesitant.

He probably should've stayed away but he had to see a glimpse of Spencer, just to make sure the younger man was alright. He wished he could've claimed it was out of selfless reasons, but he knew the turmoil inside him wasn't such he should've felt towards a married man.

Love can be damn good at making people selfish.

As he finally reached the correct door, stood behind the tiny glass on it, Derek discovered that his guess had been a correct one. Spencer was in the room, and Derek felt a huge mixture of feelings upon seeing the look on the man's face.

It was far more painful than he could've ever imagined to see Spencer feel so much for someone else.

Derek was on the verge of walking away unnoticed when Spencer suddenly seemed to sense he was being looked at. The brunet turned his gaze, looking right at him. Spencer's eyes widened slightly, and for the longest moment Derek wondered if he was in fact intruding. Yet he remained rooted to his spot, waiting.

After a couple of stilled moments it looked like Spencer gave in to something he'd wanted to do for a very long time. The brunet walked over to him and didn't resist when he wrapped his arms around the younger man.

Spencer had been struggling through all this alone for such a long time, handled the great chance of losing his husband and raising his daughter alone. Derek was glad the man finally trusted him enough to lean on him like this.

Derek opened his mouth to say something hollow like 'It's going to be okay', but quickly changed his mind. What good would such flat lines do?

It took a moment before he realized how Spencer was shaking in his arms. He swallowed with discomfort, knowing that there was nothing else he could do but wait for the storm to pass. No words or actions would've made any difference.

And so they stood in the middle of the hospital's hallway, holding each other a bit more tightly than they should've. Derek shot glares at the people who stared at them while passing by, clearly wondering what the story behind them was. And little by little Spencer grew still in his arms.

Derek was mildly surprised when a tiny, slightly bitter chuckle carried to his ears while the brunet used one hand to wipe his cheeks. "I… feel absolutely ridiculous right now", Spencer confessed quietly.

Derek shrugged. "You shouldn't. I'm not the genius out of us, but I think it'd be a lot stupider to hold it all inside." He waited for a moment, counted the three more tremors that went through the brunet. "Look… I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten all day and it's pushing three o'clock. There's sandwiches and salad in the cafeteria. So which one will you have?"

Spencer answered after a long pause, sounding a lot calmer. "Salad, I guess."

Derek nodded, pleased that he'd managed to keep Spencer responsive. "Salad it is, then", he stated while starting to half-drag the younger man with him. "And don't make me force feed you, because I will if I have to."

For a fleeting moment Spencer appeared almost amused. "I know."

They stood before the elevator until Spencer spoke once more. "And hey, Derek?" Their eyes met, and for the first time in ages there was no tension between them. "Thanks, for all this."

For the second time in a short amount of time Derek shrugged, working his hardest to make the gesture appear casual. "You know I'd do anything for you. So no problem."

For a long moment there was a unreadable look in Spencer's eyes, and Derek hoped from the bottom of his heart that he would've been able to read the younger man's thoughts. But then the elevator stopped before them with a loud 'bling', interrupting whatever had been forming in Spencer's mouth. The brunet cleared his throat. "So… Let's go."

Derek could only nod. The silence that fell upon them was, for once, thoughtful instead of heavy.

Spencer never found out that if he'd stayed just a little bit longer, if he'd kept holding on or looked behind, he would've seen how Shawn's fingers clearly twitched.

* * *

It'd taken some time, but over the years Spencer had grown fairly skilled at reading Joey's moods. That's why he frowned when seeing the dark shadows on his daughter's face when she sat to the passanger seat of his car. "Jo? What's wrong?"

Joey bit her lower lip hard, focusing her gaze on her balled fists. "Tommy and Paulie are stupid", she declared in the end.

Spencer's frown from before deepened, something dark slipping to his chest. "Why so?"

Joey hesitated for the longest time before all but whispering. She refused to look towards him. "They… They said my family is weird, because I have two daddies. They said it's sick and wrong, to live like that. They… They called you queer, daddy." She swallowed, appearing embarrassed. "And I… I started crying, in front of everyone."

Spencer's stomach turned into a painfully tight ball as his throat contracted. He'd hoped, from the depths of his heart and soul, that his own daughter wouldn't have to go through this, least of all because of him. With a deep sigh he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. She clung to him tightly. "It's okay to cry, Jo. You've got nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Nothing."

Joey nodded, by then sobbing to his chest.

Spencer waited for a long moment for her to calm down, fighting to be sure his voice wouldn't betray the memories and feelings swirling inside him. "You know what, Jo?" His voice was quiet, but still enough to catch her attention. He breathed in deep, blinking furiously to chase away the stinging of his eyes. "I think this calls for a huge dosage of mocha ice cream. Do you agree?"

Finally Joey looked at him. Her eyes were red and puffy but rapidly brightening. "Sprinkles, too?"

Spencer managed to grin faintly. "Yeah. Sprinkles, too."

* * *

That evening Spencer was forced to go back to the university when he realized that he'd forgotten some important books there. He was surprised to discover that he wasn't the only one in the classroom.

A barely nineteen years old young man with unruly short brown hair and huge eyes of the same color sat rooted on his bench, writing something before wiping it away again. This went on for almost two minutes, with Spencer unable to do anything but watch, until the younger brunet's entire face changed all of a sudden. The young man put down his pen with a tiny gasp.

Spencer approached the younger man with a frown. "Nicholas? What are you doing here?"

Nicholas looked up at him with slight startle. It took a couple of moments before the brunet could talk. "That equation of yours… I finally managed to solve it, now."

Spencer was mildly surprised. Nicholas Blake was a young man of whom no one seemed to expect great things; a practically invisible guy with average IQ, average everything, who was rarely seen spending time with anyone. He was also one of Spencer's favorite students, so he was very pleased by this success. He flashed a tiny smile. "That's great! Can I see it?"

Nicholas nodded somewhat tentatively, showing him his notes.

Spencer's eyes widened slightly as he realized that Nicholas had not only solved his final equation, but also every single one of the others.

"It… It took me ages, but I wanted to do them." Nicholas glanced at him. "I wanted to know that I can, because I can't fail another class."

Spencer couldn't help smiling again at that. "Sometimes being stubborn isn't such a bad thing." He handed Nicholas the notes with a nod of approval. "Great work."

Nicholas seemed slightly embarrassed, but also very pleased. "Thanks."

With that Spencer took the books he'd come to fetch and headed towards the door. On his way he spoke once more without looking back. "Oh, and Nicholas? Don't worry. If you keep up the hard work you'll deffinitely pass this class."

As he closed the room's door between them, feeling Nicholas' eyes on him, Spencer couldn't explain why cold shivers went through him.

He didn't have time to muse further because just then his cell phone started ringing. He picked up after clearing his throat. "Spencer Reid."

"_Hello, Dr. Reid. This is Dr. Taleir_", a very pleasant male-voice greeted him. There was a second's pause. "_Is this… a bad time?_"

Spencer felt utterly cold, and his mouth went painfully dry. "No, no. This isn't a bad time." He just wanted the man to spit it out and get it over with.

"_Alright, then._" Dr. Taleir coughed, clearly preparing himself. "_I'm… calling about your test-results. They just came back, and there was… a surprise._"

* * *

The campus was already dark as Carlos Juentes stumbled towards his dorm, coming to a drunken conclusion that perhaps the last shot had been too much for him, after all.

All of a sudden he stopped so abruptly that he stumbled, squinting to see more clearly in the dark. Had someone just… moved amongst the nearby trees? "Is… Hey, Leo, is that you? Are you trying to make wet my pants or something?"

Despite his current condition Carlos felt cold shivers go through him when there was a rustling sound. Someone was obviously moving around, approaching him.

He took a step backwards and swayed dangerously, his heart beating a lot faster than it should've. "Leo, stop messing with me! This isn't funny anymore!"

He took a one more swaying steps backwards – and froze completely when colliding with a warm chest. In a flash something sharp pierced his neck, making him yelp in a way he would've considered humiliating under any other circumstances. "Now it's your turn", a voice hissed into his ear.

* * *

TBC, if you want it to.

* * *

A/N: Oh boy…! 'Looks like there's quite a bit going on at once. Spencer's going to have hard time keeping his promise of staying safe… (sweatdrops)

But now… (swallows thickly, extremely nervous) What's the verdict, guys? Was that any good, at all? **PLEASE** let me hear ya out – I bet you know by now how much I appreciate you clicking those blue words down below! So… Pwease…?

IN THE NEXT ONE (if you want such, that is): Spencer feels like stepping backwards in time when joining forces with the BAU. With the UnSub on the loose, wildly spinning emotions and unexpected news both Reid and Morgan fall even deeper into the mess…

(Random note: This evening they'll be airing a new 'CM' episode where I live. Ah, I'm so excited!) (grins like a kid)

Until next time, with whichever story that may be!

Take care!


	3. Leading a Dual Life

A/N: Hello again! Now what's this? It looks like my updates come faster these days. That, despite the fact that I'm having a nasty (though thankfully fever-free) flue right now. Hooray? (grins, a bit nervously)

But first, of course… THANK YOU so much for those fantastic reviews! (GLOMPS) They're the fuel this story needs to keep running, ya know? So thank you! (gives cookies to each and every single one of you)

Awkay, because I bet you guys consider this enough stalling… Let's rock! (gulps) I REALLY hope you'll have a good ride!

* * *

CHAPTER 3: Leading a Dual Life

* * *

Spencer hadn't realized just how long it was from the last time he'd been in the BAU-headquarters until he entered the building, saw all the familiar desks – and people.

Even though he probably should've grown used to it already he shivered slightly when Penelope Garcia grinned and gave him a huge bear-hug as soon as she saw him. "Oh, boywonder, you can't even imagine how good it is to see you here!"

Spencer wished the feeling had been a bit more mutual while hugging her back.

It wasn't until they broke their embrace Spencer noticed that they were being watched. Stood a small distance away JJ offered him a small, warm smile. For a moment it looked like she considered giving him a hug as well but decided against it. "We've missed you."

It was around then Spencer came to realize that he'd missed them, too. And the smile on his face became a bit more genuine one.

Just then Emily Prentiss emerged from a nearby conference room. The brunette gave him a nod, along with a look that was probably supposed to be a supportive one. "Hey. Are you ready?"

Spencer felt uncomfortable pressure building up in his chest. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

Not having seen anyone approaching he jolted with surprise when feeling someone press a hand against his back. He glanced over his shoulder to see Derek. There was a great deal of understanding in the man's worried dark eyes. "Let's go and get this over with, 'k?"

Spencer nodded and allowed himself to be led into the conference room, feeling strangely numb. Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi were already there, the latter sitting on a chair and the former stood before a window, looking out with a thoughtful expression.

David greeted him with a nod, as though not entirely sure what to say.

"Thank you, for doing this." Aaron's voice was rougher and quieter than Spencer had remembered. He also didn't remember seeing those new shadows in the unit chief's eyes before. Or no, that wasn't true. He'd seen those eyes for the first time when he was saved after having been in the hands of a UnSub for two months. Since then the shadows had grown longer. "We wouldn't have asked this of you if you weren't the best option."

Spencer did his best to keep his mixed emotions from showing. The team needed his help. Why not give it when he could? "I know."

Aaron nodded. Something Spencer couldn't name lingered in the air between them.

Clearly deciding to break the atmosphere, Derek cleared his throat and spoke. "So… About that case…"  
JJ stepped forward, looking like she'd just woken up from a dream. She pushed a set of photographs and documents towards him on the table. "The victims are Alex Thompson, Samuel Harvey, Jeremy Baker and Carlos Juentes."

Spencer felt a stab of shock and shuddered, most likely visibly. "I… knew Carlos." He felt slightly nauseated. Wasn't it only a day ago the kid spoke to him? "He started on one of my classes two months ago."

JJ gave him a look of sympathy that said more than any words, and went on after a pause. "The victims were all young, popular and athletic. They'd all been left to a spot where it was easy to find them, stabbed and…" She grit her teeth. "… brutally abused."

Yes. Looking at the pictures Spencer saw that much too clearly; there was blood all over the naked corpses. He then frowned when noticing another detail. Words, engraved to the chest of all four of them. "'Your turn'?" he echoed the words.

"The victims come from separate ethnic backgrounds, and according to our investigations so far they've had barely anything to do with each other in months. It's pretty clear these guys have done something to the UnSub to trigger rage like this", Derek continued. There was a moment's pause. "We're looking for a man of their age. Someone who doesn't draw attention to himself, who doesn't have a lot of friends. He's the type no one really pays attention to."

Spencer nodded, looking at the pictures and rolling what he'd just heard through his head.

Focusing on the case, on the information that team had gathered so far, was the easy part. Everyone else but he noticed how his eyes changed while he absorbed the information he'd just received. It was like he'd been pulled into some world of his own.

And suddenly something he'd previously pushed into the back of his mind floated in.

* * *

/ _Almost seven months ealier Spencer was in the university much later than he should've, working overtime yet again. He was almost dozing off when something floated to his ears through his office's slightly ajar window._

_"… 'can't believe Jax sent that online!" Carlos Juentes hissed in a clearly horrified, almost nauseated tone. The boy's exasperation could be sensed. "What if…?"_

_Samuel Harvey sounded a lot calmer while talking. In fact it was almost certain the young man was drunk. "Carlos, chill! It was just a joke, 'k?"_

_"A joke? Are you seriously calling what we did a joke?" Carlos swore loudly and kicked something, most likely a beer-can. "If Nicholas files a report we'll all go into a jail, do you understand that? We committed to a crime! And my dad… He's gonna kill me! What we did was so fucking stupid that I…"_

_Samuel interrupted the other man again. "Like I already said, chill." There was a somewhat chilling pause. "I'm gonna sort this out. So forget about it and chill."_

_There was a sound of someone being punched. "Don't you get it, dimwit? I'm never, ever going to just forget about it." With that someone, most likely Carlos, stomped away._

_Spencer shivered a little and frowned, those words echoing in his head._

_He reported the incident the following day, but it was only hearsay and Carlos came from a powerful family. The matter was buried in utter silence, and no one else but Spencer seemed to remember._ /

* * *

Aaron frowned as Spencer finished telling of the memory. "Do you know who they were talking about?"

Spencer nodded, looking towards the window. Suddenly the sun that'd been shining brightly had disappeared behind a cloud. "Nicholas Blake is a student of mine, and he fits the profile perfectly. I don't know what that conversation was about, but…" He trailed off, feeling sick to his stomach. He was crucifying Nicholas, but…

"They mentioned some 'Jax'", Prentiss pointed out. "Who's he?"

Spencer shook his head. "I don't know."

Derek went on in a heartbeat, a dark look in his eyes. "But if he had something to do with whatever triggered this thing, we've gotta find him before Nicholas does."

Aaron grit his teeth for a moment. "I'm going to tell Garcia to trace Nicholas – even if he isn't the UnSub we need to ask him some questions." He looked towards Spencer with eyes that were impossible to read. "Thank you."

Spencer nodded, trying his best to smile just a little bit. "No problem." For some reason there were chills all over his body. Perhaps it was a sixth sense trying to warn him.

* * *

About half an hour later Spencer felt intense gratitude while gulping down a glass of ice-cold water, its taste effectively wiping away the foul taste that'd been lingering in his mouth. Little by little the almost squirming sensation in his stomach eased.

That was until he heard Derek's familiar voice. "Reid? Are you okay?" The man stood a couple of steps away, looking at him with evaluative eyes. "It's… been a while since you've been working on a case. So…" The man trailed off, clearly not wanting to voice the fact that the last time had started a nightmare that went on for two months. A nightmare that led Spencer to Shawn.

Spencer nodded, doing his best to make it convincing. "Yeah. I'm fine."

One of Derek's eyebrows rose, and Spencer had a feeling the man knew long before actually speaking. "Then why do you look like you're about to throw up?"

Spencer looked at Derek, wondering what was the best and most harmless way of announcing what was on his mind. It was incredibly frustrating, to feel like he was betraying someone all the time. He licked his lips before half-whispering. "I… got some news, yesterday." He took a deep breath, looking away. Funny. He'd never noticed that stain on the wall before. "It… looks like I'm pregnant. At first I thought the symptoms were caused by stress but…" He trailed off, straying into his thoughts. After three miscarriadges he and Shawn had given up, coming to a conclusion that they just weren't meant to have a child together. It'd been the hardest and deffinitely most trying time of their relationship, and as much as they loved each other it'd almost torn them apart. And now, being pregnant without Shawn'support… It was one of the most terrifying thoughts he'd ever faced.

Derek's hard, heavy silence seemed to stretch until all eternity before the dark-skinned man unleashed a quiet "Oh". It seemed to take another forever until Derek spoke again. "How… do you feel about it?"

Spencer shook his head, clenching and unclenching his fists. "I'm… still kind of trying to figure that out", he confessed. He fidgeted a little. "I'm supposed to go to the first ultra scan today."

Derek was quiet for a moment before speaking out. "And you're planning on going alone, aren't you?"

Spencer chewed his lower lip quite hard, focusing on his breathing. Last time he went to a ultra scan the baby had already been dead. He'd probably never forget how the empty, lifeless space inside his stomach had looked like on the monitor-screen. They joys of having a eidetic memory… Spencer shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. His eyes stung so he squinted them. "Yeah, I am."

"I could go with you, you know." Derek said it with such certainty, so unexpectedly, that Spencer actually shivered slightly.

He knew he should've said 'no', that he shouldn't let Derek get involved like this. But… He'd had it with loneliness. Was that a crime? He swallowed, loudly. "You don't have to." Honestly, he might find it a lot easier if Derek wasn't there, especially considering he was carrying someone else's child.

But if anything Derek was stubborn, and Spencer had a feeling the man would've slammed himself through a wall of bricks if he'd have to. The dark-skinned man gave him one of those looks he knew all too well. "You can cut that one right now, 'k? Just tell me what time we're going."

Spencer felt warmer than he should've.

* * *

Dr. Nikita Taleir was a extremely gentle-looking fifty-six years old man with rapidly graying hair and gray eyes that always seemed to have a hint of laughter in them despite all they must've seen. Since Spencer's first miscarriadge the man, who reminded him chillingly of Jason Gideon for some reason, had been a great support despite his… unusual situation. He'd listened patiently to Spencer rambling facts in the aftermath of his second miscarriadge. Then the man sat beside him when he found out about the third loss, all alone because he hadn't managed to convince himself into telling Shawn about the pregnancy in beforehand. And the doctor offered him silent comfort after Shawn's accident. Spencer found the man's soothing tone and openly showing emotions comforting.

That early afternoon Dr. Taleir blinked several times when he entered the man's office with Derek. "Well hello", the man greeted slowly.

Spencer cleared his throat, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed. "Uhm… Hi." He gestured towards Derek. "This… is Derek Morgan, a friend of mine. He offered to come along, since…" He just couldn't bring himself to say the rest.

He felt a hint of relief when Dr. Taleir nodded, understanding. "Well, I'm pleased to see you didn't come alone this time."

Spencer didn't know what to say to that, so he nodded.

While both he and Dr. Taleir started preparing for the examination the man spoke again. "How have you been lately?"

Spencer shrugged, all too aware of the hint of heat on his cheeks when Derek saw him take off his shirt. This was getting very, very uncomfortable… "I've… been fine, I guess. A bit tired, and queasy. I've thrown up five times today."

Dr. Tireil gave him a look of sympathy. "That's one unfortunate part of the deal, isn't it?" There was a second's pause. "Now, why don't you lay down so we can take a look at who's causing all the havoc."

Spencer complied, something closer to terror swimming into him slowly yet surely.

"Reid, breathe." Funny. He hadn't realized he hadn't done so until Derek spoke. There was a hint of amusement mixed worry in the dark-skinned man's eyes. "Everything's gonna be okay, so relax and breathe."

Spencer nodded, wishing it'd been that easy.

Dr. Tireil seemed to work on his abdomen for a decade, frowning and making small unidentifiable noises. Then, so unexpectedly that he shivered, a sound he'd been longing from the bottom of his heart filled the room. He was almost sure Derek gasped slightly when the baby's heartbeat reached their ears, strong and stubborn. Spencer's own heart was sent racing while a familiar warm feeling spread all the way through him.

Dr. Tireil smiled at the screen. "There the little one is – almost managed to hide from me."

As Derek, most likely instinctively, took his hand and squeezed it Spencer fought to ignore how good and right it felt. Fought to ignore how much he wanted, perhaps even needed, it.

All of a sudden Dr. Taleir made a sound that was a lot like "Ah!", pointing at the screen. "Now how about this… Do you see that?" If he was fully honest Spencer couldn't see anything that could've caused such a reaction. But Dr. Taleir looked at him with a wide, slightly intimidating grin. "Congrats, it looks like you're going to have twins."

Cold filled Spencer while his stomach seemed to flip around. Derek was barely fast enough to offer him a bowl before he threw up.

* * *

Some hours later, after gathering his thoughts for a while, Spencer finally managed to gather his courage and once again headed towards the hospital with Joey. But no matter how painful it was for him to see Shawn in that condition it looked like the visit was even harder on Joey.

It was all too easy to tell how hard the little-girl fought against tears while sitting on Shawn's bedside, holding his hand while looking at his face intently. It looked like she'd been trying to make him wake up with the sheer power of will.

Spencer swallowed down the blockage in his throat, even attempted to speak. "You could try and talk to him. I'm sure he'd love to hear your voice."

Joey looked at him, appearing utterly lost and even scared. "What can I say, daddy?"

Spencer took a moment to make sure his tone wasn't off. "Whatever you feel like saying. It doesn't have to be anything special."

Joey nodded, then focused bravely on Shawn's face. At least five times she opened her mouth without being able to utter a sound. That's when Spencer decided that enough was enough.

Spencer's throat felt a lot tighter than it should've, and he swallowed before talking. "You know, Jo… I'm sure he'd like it if you read something to him. Why don't you go and pick a book? You remember where the library is, right?"

Joey nodded eagerly, clearly pleased to have something to do, then gave Shawn's cheek a tiny kiss and sped into motion.

As soon as his daughter had left Spencer took a deep breath before focusing on his husband and taking the man's hand.

* * *

/ _Spencer gave a extremely rare, tiny yet warm smile when waking up slowly to someone kissing his neck. He wrinkled his nose with delight and shivered, making the brush-light touches intensify. In the end the lips on him managed to hit one of his most sensitive spots and he unleashed a moan he might've been embarrassed by in any other situation._

_There was a chuckle he recognized very well. "Do you have any idea how adorable you are when waking up?" Shawn's soft voice, still a bit thick with sleep, inquired._

_"Hmh." Slowly Spencer opened his eyes to see the dark-haired man's figure lay beside him. He sighed with contentment, snuggling closer without noticing it. "'Morning."_

_Shawn smiled, giving his forehead a kiss. "'Morning to you, too." The man leaned his forehead against Spencer's, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. "So… Any requests for today?"_

_Spencer's eyes lit with hope. "How about some coffee at first?"_

_Shawn rolled his eyes, clearly holding back a groan and a smile. "How many times do I have to tell you how unhealthy the amount of caffeine you consume is?"_

_Spencer frowned in a nearly childish manner, until his brain switched track. __"Did you know that caffeine causes changes in the chemicals of human brain…?"_

_Shawn interrupted his upcoming rant with kissing him in a manner that stole absolutely all his breath, and he found himself responding happily. Once they broke apart Shawn yawned a little and pulled him closer. "This is our first morning as a married couple, and it doesn't look like we'd have any rush. What do you say if we sleep in?"_

_Spencer most deffinitely had nothing against that plan. Giving another sigh he closed his eyes, then leaned closer to his husband's body and rested his head against the man's chest, so that he could hear the other's heartbeat. In moments__ he'd drifted back into undisturbed sleep._ /

* * *

In present Spencer found it was harder than he'd expected to produce the words. "I… wouldn't have wanted to tell you this soon, but… If this helps bringing you back…" His body shook, just a little bit, as he licked his lips. "I… went to a doctor today, and… Well, it looks like you have two more reasons to come back." Almost instinctively one of his hands found its way to his stomach. "I'm pregnant, with twins. So I… I need you, okay? I really need you. We all do."

For a moment, just a moment, Spencer's heart stopped when he was sure he felt Shawn's fingers move slightly. He also could've sworn the man's eyelashes fluttered. But then, as though a switch had been flicked, it all disappeared, leaving behind a empty shell.

And for some moments Spencer felt absolutely everything inside him grow still and hollow.

That was until the room's door opened. He realized the moist on his cheeks just in time to wipe it away before Joey took her place beside Shawn's bed. The look on her face was so sad and serious that it shouldn't have belonged to any six-year-old. She looked at him, showing him a book. 'The Chronicles of Narnia' again. "Do you… think he'll like this?"

It was a small miracle that Spencer's face remained at least relatively steady as he nodded slowly, swallowing hard. "Yeah." His tone was hoarse. "I bet he will."

Joey nodded as well, relaxing just a little bit. As she began to read Spencer closed his eyes, laying a slightly tentative hand to his abdomen. For a little while he could imagine that their family was whole.

* * *

Meanwhile Aaron, Derek, Emily and David were already stood behind Nicholas Blake's door, prepared for absolutely anything.

Aaron raised his fist with a grim expression and knocked firmly, one of his hands remaining on his weapon. "Nicholas Blake? We're with the FBI, and we want to ask you some questions. Come and open the door, right now."

Heat bubbling in his veins Derek looked around. His eyes were quick to detect the house's shabby appearance and all the dead flowers in the yard, as well the over-grown lawn. "It doesn't look like anyone's been here for a while", he pointed out through grit teeth.

After a one more firm knock and unanswered barked orders Aaron made his decision and kicked in the door. They all had their guns raised as they made their way into the house. As soon as they entered they had to cough at the unbelievable, rotten smell that hung thickly in the air.

"Shit…!" Emily sputtered, covering her nose and mouth. "What is this smell?"

Derek grit his teeth, having a much too clear idea.

In the end they split to pairs, Derek heading upstairs with David and Aaron going through the rooms downstairs with Emily. The stench that seemed to enstrenghten by the minute, thick layers of dust, the floral patterns on the walls and ancient furniture made it look like time had stopped in the house. Derek found it deeply disturbing.

His thoughts were cut when Emily called out all of a sudden, her tight voice giving a loud warning. "Get down here! There's… There's something you should see."

* * *

The team couldn't possibly know that Nicholas stood in the cover of trees on the other side of the street, observing the commotion with narrowed eyes.

He remembered, quite vividly, that the dark-skinned man who entered the house second was the same who'd come to visit Spencer the day before. Those people were with the FBI, and now they were on his tails. Spencer had betrayed him, led those people to him. That would not go unpunished.

He'd show Spencer his wrath, and he'd find the fifth and final member of the group that'd pushed him into his own personal hell. Maybe then he'd be able to sleep without nightmares…

By the time the team emerged from the house with grim, almost shocked expressions Nicholas was already long gone.

* * *

TBC, no?

* * *

A/N: Oh dear… So now the UnSub's pissed, Reid's pregnant with twins… (sniffs) Is this drama I smell?

BUT, before I tune out… **PLEASE**, leave a note to let me know your thoughts on this chapter! Or heck, tell me about your day. I love hearing from you guys! (gives puppy's eyes) Pwease…?

IN THE NEXT ONE: Fate pushes Reid and Morgan even closer together when the team tries to make sure he and Joey are safe. But Nicholas Blake is out for revenge, and once his wrath crashes in nothing is the same again… The story continues in 'The Most Fragile of Lives'.

Until next time, folks – I REALLY hope I'll c ya guys then!

Peace out!


	4. The Most Fragile of Lives

A/N: GAH, I know I'm horribly late with this update but I was ambushed by some nasty plot-bunnies! (winces)

BUT, before getting to the actual business… Tons and tons of thank yous for those lovely reviews! (glomps) They seriously make my day, ya know? So thank you! (beams)

Awkay, because I've already kept you waiting waaaaaay too long, I suppose it's time to go. (swallows nervously) I REALLY hope this turns out worth the wait!

* * *

CHAPTER 4: The Most Fragile of Lives

* * *

It was later that same day Spencer got a call from Aaron. His heart skipped a beat or two after the man's opening line. "_Nicholas Blake has gone missing._"

Spencer swallowed thickly, suddenly very glad that he'd just parked his car. "Does he… know, that I'm helping you?"

"_It's unlikely, but I'd like to play it safe. I'm planning on arranging someone to guard Shawn's room until this is all over._" There was a pause. "_And I think it'd be for the best to guard you and Joey as well._"

For some reason those words made Spencer almost restless. It was like some sixth sense inside him had already known. "What… do you have in mind?" he inquired although he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Aaron was quiet for a while, clearly struggling to set his words. "_It… would be good if one of us stayed with you at all times. Just to make sure._" He heard a deep breath. "_Morgan already volunteered._" Hotch went on after a couple of seconds. "_I know there's… tension between you two, so I understand if…_" The unit chief didn't voice the rest, most likely out of courtesy.

Spencer knew he was most likely making a huge mistake, and a loud voice inside him screamed against his decision. But his mouth was faster than his head. "Okay", he half breathed out and licked his lips. "I just… have to talk to Jo first."

"_I know._" Aaron held a tiny pause, as though expecting him to say something. When he couldn't utter a word the man spoke instead. "_Call me as soon you've made up your mind, alright? And Reid… Be careful._"

Spencer blinked slowly, feeling like he'd been in some sort of haze. "'K." He didn't even realize the phone call ended.

"Daddy?" Joey, whom he'd just picked up from school, was looking at him with a clearly worried frown. "What's wrong?"

For the longest time, so long it most likely felt uncomfortable to them both, Spencer couldn't do anything but look at his daughter. His eyes took in all those familiar little things; the nose, those eyes, something about that spirit… It was like looking at Derek. He cleared his throat to cut that thought, guilt twitching like a snake in his stomach. "Listen, Jo…" He licked his lips once more. "How… How would you feel if uncle-Derek came to stay with us for a while?"

* * *

It so happened that as soon as the following afternoon – in a misty, rainy day of late autumn – Derek Morgan stood behind Spencer Reid's door. It was impossible to tell which one of them felt more uncomfortable as Spencer opened, letting him in with a nod and "Hi".

Gods, how Derek grinned. It felt so much like he'd come home that it _hurt_. "Hey." He rubbed the back on his skull with one hand, switching his weight from one foot to another. "It… was raining, and I got wet. Can I go and get changed?"

Spencer blinked, as though waking up from a stupor. "Yeah, yeah, of course. I'll… show you to the guest room."

Derek could only nod. "Thanks."

Just then Joey all but jumped to Spencer, understandably curious to see who the arrival was. The girl grinned like a tiny sunshine when seeing him. "Hi, uncle-Derek!"

It still hurt to be called 'uncle', but Derek smiled. "Hey, Joey. It looks like I'll be staying with you guys for a bit. How does that sound?"

She nodded without a hint of hesitation. For some reason Derek found himself wondering if Spencer had smiled like she did, once upon a time. "Good! Then I can show you all my magic tricks!"

Giving him a somewhat sheepish look Spencer ruffled his daughter's hair. She leaned into the man's touch. "Why don't you go back to living room? I'll be there in a second."

Joey nodded before disappearing in a flash. Derek unleashed a tiny chuckle. "She sure has a lot of energy."

Spencer also chuckled; it was a sound Derek had apparently missed. "Sometimes I'm sure she drinks coffee without me knowing about it." The man then seemed slightly uneasy, as though properly returning to the present. "So… To the guest room."

Derek was led upstairs and into a small yet extremely cozy room. One corner of his lips twitched as he took in all the books, the clearly old sofa and the office table that had a mountain of papers on it. Everything in the room screamed 'Spencer Reid'.

"This room looks nice", he stated. And he was honest.

It was impossible to read all the emotions that flashed on Spencer's face to disappear in a microsecond. "Thanks."

Without thinking the slightest, and almost sure that Spencer had already left anyway, Derek took off his throughoutly wet shirt. It wasn't until he heard the tiny, choked sound and turned to see a scarlet-faced, wide-eyed Spencer stood by the doorway Derek realized his mistake. Shivers traveled all the way through his body, making it impossible to emit a 'Sorry'.

Spencer cleared his throat, and Derek felt all too pleased by the hint of a blush he caught. "Make… yourself at home." Moving a bit too rapidly and almost stumbling on his own feet the genius turned, hastily making his way out of the room. "I… I'll be downstairs, with Jo." Then, as though in a afterthought, the man added. "Oh, yeah, and dinner's ready in about fifteen minutes."

Derek couldn't resist smiling when watching how Spencer left the room and first walked right in the hallway, then came back and continued to left, where the stairs were.

This all felt right, no matter how hard Derek tried to convince himself it wasn't so.

About six minutes later Derek made his way downstairs, his body a bit stiffer than he'd expected, and immediately heard noises from the living room. Moving as soundlessly as only a trained agent can he walked to the room's doorway to find Spencer and Joey playing cards.

Although it hurt to watch – more than he would've liked to admit – Derek found himself unable to move away. Instead he leaned on the doorframe, his eyes taking in the sight before him hungrily.

"Look, daddy!" Joey exclaimed with child-like excitement, showing Spencer her cards. "I won!"

Spencer smiled in a way Derek couldn't remember seeing before. "Yeah, you did." Suddenly the brunet reached out, gently pulling something from behind the girl's ear. She giggled when the genius showed her a coin. "And here's your reward."

Derek had never really considered himself as a family-man, not even when he was with Gemma for such a long time. He'd never been able to picture himself as a father. But now… Now, something he liked more than he could've ever imagined swelled in his stomach.

He spoke, risking destroying the peaceful atmosphere. "So you still do magic tricks?"

A tiny blush could just be seen on Spencer's cheeks as the man looked towards him. Joey beat the man to talking, a wide grin on her face. "Daddy's really good! And he's taught me a lot of stuff already."

Derek smirked, walking forward so that he could ruffle her hair. "I bet you're going to be really good, too."

It wasn't until Joey smiled back at him Derek realized just how much like him and Spencer the girl really looked. Cold shivers traveled through him along with something else he couldn't name.

Just then Spencer cleared his throat, cutting his thoughts. "Jo, why don't you go and set the table?" the brunet suggested.

Joey nodded. Before leaving, though, she turned towards Derek once more – and pulled two fake-roses from her sleeve, handing them towards him. She flashed him a one more smile that revealed two missing teeth. "See? I'm learning."

Derek couldn't resist a tiny chuckle. "You sure are."

As soon as Joey had left Spencer spoke in a somewhat quiet tone. "You know… That's the happiest she's been, since…" The brunet trailed off, but the message was clear.

It took a moment before Derek managed to come up with something to say. Sadly "That's… good" was the most intelligent he could produce.

Spencer took a breath, leaning heavily against the couch. "I know that this isn't… easy for you, either. So… Thanks, for everything." And suddenly the person sitting before him was the same Derek had worked with over half a decade ago, unchanged by all the years and events that'd struck him. The brunet was the same man who'd worked on all those cases, shooting out facts. The same man Derek had…

Derek swallowed hard before managing to speak once more. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'd do anything for you. And there's nothing you could do to stop me."

For the longest moment Spencer stared at him. Then, very slowly, a look Derek had never seen before rose to the brunet's face. "'Okay."

For some reason Derek couldn't resist a smile.

Just then, seconds before the mood would've turned into something that would've made things all the more difficult, Joey's voice sounded from the kitchen. "Daddy, the chicken smells weird."

Spencer and Derek looked at each other, both stiffling laughter. "Does Chinese sound good to you?" Derek inquired.

Spencer gave him a slightly dark look. "Only if forks are allowed."

Derek grinned, fighting the urge to ruffle the other's significantly grown hair. "Sure thing."

* * *

It was six o'clock in the evening, and Dr. Victoria Riley had had a long, extremely hard day so far.

She'd lost a single mother of three. A drunk husband of a patient had succeeded in punching her before security got a hold of the slurring man. One of the nurses had made a dire error, sending a man into a coma. Now the man's family threatened to sue the hospital.

That's why she wasn't in the best of moods while checking up on Shawn Ramos, who was one of the most liked doctors in the hospital.

And then she heard a 'beep' that shouldn't have been there.

She immediately looked to the screen of Shawn's heart monitor. Her assumption was proven to be the correct one; the man's blood pressure and oxygen saturation had just picked up slightly.

The nurse who'd been making the round with her – Laura – immediately tensed up, giving her a look. "Do you think he's…?" The younger woman trailed off.

Dr. Riley shook her head, frowning. She made some notes to her portable laptop before answering. "I'm not sure – it's too early to make assumptions. Keep a close eye on him. If this goes on, page me." She then came to think of something. "And if his condition really is improving, call Spencer Reid. I think he could use some good news."

Laura nodded, a lot more tense than before. Excitement shone in her eyes.

In the bed Shawn slept on, completely unaware of the drama he was causing.

* * *

It was strange for Derek to spend time in the house that belonged to Spencer and Shawn. It felt uncomfortably lot like he'd been intruding, sneaked somewhere he shouldn't be. But at the same time it felt sinfully good.

He woke up from that thought when hearing steps. Spencer appeared a bit more tired than he would've liked when entering the room, stiffling a yawn. "Jo finally fell asleep", the brunet informed him. "She was pretty excited about uncle-Derek being here. She had about a million questions and I couldn't answer even half of them without worrying her."

Derek winced a bit. "The joys of being a parent, huh?"

"Hmh." Spencer then arched an eyebrow when realizing that he was sitting on a floor. "There's a perfectly good couch behind you, you know?"

Derek shrugged, feeling far more comfortable than he should've when Spencer sat beside him. "Yeah, I know. But I kind of like the floor. Besides, it's nice to feel the heat of the fireplace here." He frowned at the look that lingered on the brunet's face for a moment. "What's wrong?"

Spencer shook his head quickly, as though trying to wake up. "Nothing. It's just… Jo likes it, too." There was a brief pause. "I always have to tell her to be careful, so she doesn't get burned."

"Oh." If Derek was entirely honest with himself that piece of information made him feel warm all over. It was nice to hear that Joey had inherited something from him, too.

They sat in silence for the longest time until Spencer spoke. "I know that this isn't easy for you." The man looked towards him. "I could ask someone else…"

Even Derek was surprised by how vehemently he shook his head. The words came before he could stop them. "Look… You and Jo are the closest thing to a family I have, 'k? And right now you need me. So… There's no way in hell I'm going anywhere. I'm not leaving."

Spencer blinked slowly, twice. Clearly the younger man still wasn't used to having people around who didn't leave him. Then, very slowly, a smile appeared to the brunet's face.

Derek honestly hadn't meant the mood to become so intimate. Things weren't supposed to take the direction they did. But before he realized what was happening his hand brushed Spencer's hair – his fingertips recognizing the familiar feel instantly – and he leaned closer, just a little bit.

Spencer grew completely stiff and the man's eyes widened slightly, filling with fear and something else he couldn't identify. The brunet licked his lips, breathing sharply. "Derek, don't." 'Please' was inaudible but present.

Derek wasn't sure which one seeped deeper under his skin; the refusal, or the fact that for the first time in years – or was it the first time ever, had he been 'Derek' even _that_ night? – Spencer had called him by his first name.

Then, several precious seconds later, he realized the situation at hand. He pulled his hand away from Spencer as fast as if the other man had burned, even withdrew a little bit to give the other man some space. "Sorry." He swallowed, his throat scratchy and sore. It was inredibly hard for him to look towards the brunet. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" He trailed off.

Spencer's breathing was a little bit more even already. "I know. It's just…" The younger man fidgeted a little, in a way Derek remembered well from the days when they were both members of BAU. The brunet's eyes wandered all around him, never really meeting him. "We can't, okay? We can't." As though to confirm his words all the room's little light seemed to focus on Spencer's wedding-ring, making it shine.

Derek felt a knot in his stomach. Unable to come up with anything to say he squeezed his lips tightly together, waiting impatiently what the next move would be.

In the end he shivered a bit when feeling Spencer's body relax completely against him. Panic swelled in his stomach for a moment until he realized that the brunet had simply fallen asleep. Finally there was a at least remotely peaceful look on Spencer's face.

Unable to resist a smile Derek wrapped one arm around Spencer and pulled the younger man close, then leaned further against the couch. In a matter of moments he also fell asleep.

* * *

Five days later someone who'd been waiting for his opportunity for a long time finally spotted a much welcomed opening.

Nicholas Blake had been a volunteer worker in the hospital for the past six months. Unfortunately for him, since BAU was on his tails it'd been impossible to go to work lately. Fortunately he'd managed to make most of his preparations in beforehand; he'd known to expect his luck wouldn't last forever. All he needed to do was stick around and wait for his chance.

The members of staff were so busy that it was ridiculously easy to sneak around the ward like a ghost. No one did as much as look at him in the eyes, although his picture and a warning of him must've been scattered all around the hospital.

So he lurked in the shadows and waited. And that day his patience was finally rewarded.

The elderly police officer who'd been ordered to guard a certain door had fought bravely against sleep in his incredibly boring task. But now, finally, he'd lost the fight and light snoring carried to where Nicholas stood, pretending to study a file.

His eyes flashed like those of a predator as he moved. He didn't make the slightest sound while passing by the sleeping police officer and entering Shawn Ramos' hospital room.

* * *

Two floors down agents Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss met a head nurse called Keana Halley. She was a woman in her late fifties with small, sharp eyes, angrily red hair and smiless face. And they could immediately tell she hated them. "Even if Nicholas Blake was an intern or a volunteer in my ward… Why should I give you any information?"

Aaron grit his teeth so hard it hurt before cutting a rant that would've deffinitely come from Emily by speaking first. His voice was sharp, filled with authority that was reserved for specific situations. "Mrs. Halley, I understand you're hesitant. But Nicholas is dangerously unstable at the moment – he's already killed several people, and we have a reason to expect that at least one more person is in danger. He spent most of his freetime here. We need your help in finding him."

The woman still didn't appear all too happy. "Again. Why should I help?"

Aaron's facial muscles tightened considerably. "Because two months ago he killed his mother – she used to be a patient here. She had terminal cancer, and he gave her an overdose of morphine. We found her body about a week ago."

"And we have every reason to expect he got the morphine from your ward", Emily continued with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. "So either you give us the information we need, or risk facing lawsuit over severe neglect."

Keana Halley looked like she wanted to rip them apart with her bare hands.

* * *

The very first thing Shawn Ramos saw when opening his eyes was light, so bright that it felt like his eyes had been burned. He unleashed a tiny, gruff moan and squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment before trying again.

This time he saw. And his heart jumped one time too many when he saw a young, most likely not even twenty years old man with brown hair and eyes stood before his bed. The man, who seemed to be wearing a volunteer worker's clothes, gave him a chilling tiny smile when noticing that he was awake. "Ah, good. I was beginning to worry you wouldn't wake up in time, after all."

Shawn frowned, instantly getting a feeling that something was _badly_ wrong. He swallowed although there seemed to be no saliva left in his mouth. "What… are you doing?" His voice was raspy, barely audible. Somehow he had a feeling talking would be impossible soon enough.

All warmth seeped from his body when the man pulled out a needle, showing it to him like it'd been a great treasure. The look in the man's eyes told everything necessary. "I'm sending a little message to your husband. It was a nice coincidence I managed to find you before I lost my chance." The intruder looked at the needle. "I've heard you're a doctor, so you know what too much potassium does, right?"

Shawn's heart hammered and terror bubbled in his veins as his eyes shot towards the buttom with which he could've called for help. The young man had been sure to lift it to the far edge of his bedside table – it was near, yet much too far for his barely functioning muscles. His eyes stung as the helplessness of it all began to sink in.

"I wouldn't waste energy on that", the younger man adviced. "The dosage of relaxant I gave you earlier should keep you nice and still for a while."

Shawn frowned, fought to swallow. What the hell had that intruder given him? Although considering what was about to happen that was rather irrelavant. His eyes darted around frantically, and adrenaline sharpened his hearing as he hoped – prayed – for even the slightest sign that someone would be on their way to help him. His prayers were ignored.

"That's right, doctor. You're all alone, now. But don't worry, it won't take long." The intruder's voice was smoother than velvet as he pushed the extremely heavy load of potassium in through the IV attached to Shawn. "I'll be sure to tell Spencer you were very, very brave."

* * *

Derek didn't know how long he'd been sleeping when he woke up to the sounds of someone moving nearby. His instincts alerting instantly he took a firm hold of his gun, then nearly jumped out of the bed to walk through the house and scanned through the hallways with narrowed eyes. Nothing seemed to be wrong. It was then he noticed the beam of light coming from the house's kitchen.

Still a bit on guard but slightly calmer he got up and walked to the kitchen to find Spencer swallowing a glass of water. He frowned when noticing that the brunet was rubbing his stomach with a expression of discomfort. "Are you feeling nauseous?"

Spencer shuddered a bit with startle before nodding slowly. "Yeah." The man attempted to give him a tiny smile and almost succeeded. "Would you believe that mornings are the easiest time for me?"

Derek tried to smile back. "Well, your pregnancy isn't exactly the average one, either."

Those words actually succeeced in pulling a tiny smile from the brunet. "'Guess I'm pretty much defying all statistics, huh?"

Derek grinned. "You sure are."

Spencer looked at him for a moment before darting his gaze to side and through the kitchen's window. The brunet's nose wrinkled slightly, as it always did when he was worked up by something. "It's almost winter", the genius murmured, speaking mostly to himself. There was a pregnant pause. "Shawn… was supposed to take care of the garden before winter comes. I forgot."

Derek hated himself for the intense, damnright possessive heat that surged through his entire body. He was relieved he managed to disguise it before it would've boiled over, before he would've succeeded in damaging the new, still rather frail bond of trust between them. "Oh…", he uttered, feeling that he needed to utter something.

Blinking as though only just realizing he was there Spencer looked at him, appearing utterly embarrassed. "I'm… sorry. I know you don't want to hear…" The man gestured rather wildly with one hand. "…this."

Derek shrugged, wishing he'd been a bit more noble than he was. Wishing that he would've managed to say _something_.

As it turned out he never had to come up with anything to say. Because completely without a warning Spencer almost doubled over, emitting a small cry of agony. One of the brunet's hands flew instinctively to his stomach, letting the glass it'd been holding fall and break to tens of pieces.

Derek felt like someone had wrapped a very tight rope around his neck and he tried to talk around it. "Reid?" His voice was nowhere near familiar. "What's wrong?"

Spencer swallowed thickly, seeming dangerously pale all of a sudden. The brunet appeared _horrified_ while trying to press his trembling hand even more tightly against his abdomen, which had already gained a slight bump. "I… I don't know."

Just then Spencer swayed, and Derek didn't hesitate catching a firm hold of the brunet. He wasn't sure which one's heart beat faster as he pulled the genius a lot closer than would've been necessary, feeling more horrified than he had in years. "It's… It's okay. It's okay." Oh, how he wished he'd believed that… "Let's… get you some help, okay? Everything's alright, Spencer." He never knew to register that it was the first time he called Spencer that. He pulled the brunet even closer when the man's swaying and shivering detoriorated. "Everything's okay, I promise."

In the hassle that followed neither one could've possibly noticed that on Spencer's nightstand his cell phone vibrated in silent mode.

* * *

TBC, right?

* * *

A/N: Oh boy… And the drama continues, huh? (winces) Those people won't catch a break before 'the end', it seems. (rolls eyes at oneself)

GAH, it's getting incredibly late here so I should be heading to bed. (groans) **PLEASE**, do click those lil' blue words and leave a note to let me hear your thoughts! Pwease…? Santa's elves are keeping an eye on you and making sure you leave one, ya know?

IN THE NEXT ONE: One tragedy, one relief, one accidental confession, one potentially life-threatening decision. Once again Spencer's life spins around madly, sending him reeling. When Nicholas threatens everything precious he still has, he makes a decision that may seal his fate… The third last (!) chapter 'Bringing the Monsters to Life' continues the story.

Until next time, folks! I truly hope I'll c ya all then.

Peace out!


	5. Bringing the Monsters to Life

A/N: GOSH! Your excitement for the previous chapter had me so fueled up with inspiration that this new chapter was born in a heartbeat. (grins)

TONS and tons of thank yous for those absolutely amazing reviews! (GLOMPS) You just broke all records for this story, ya know? Maintain that trend and the next chapter will be out in a few days! (chuckles) (Me, blackmailing? Nah, never!)

Awkay, after the cliffie I left you on you'll probably attack me if I don't get to the business soon. Sooo… (takes a deep breath) I REALLY hope this turns out to be a enjoyable ride!

* * *

CHAPTER 5 – Bringing the Monsters to Life

* * *

Spencer wasn't entirely sure when he slipped into unconsciousness. He remembered hearing Derek whisper comforting words to him, even remembered hearing what sounded like paramedics. He also had a trace of memory of how badly he would've wanted to convince Derek he was fine, of feeling someone carry him.

And then it was dark, all consuming black.

That was until his mind gained some focus once more. He frowned, feeling extremely drowsy and heavy. A hint of startle traveled through him as he ended up tugging something when moving his hand. What was going on?

There was a sound of movement. "Reid?" It took him a second to recognize Derek's voice. "Are you awake?"

It was a struggle, but eventually he managed to crack his eyes slightly open. At first he could only see white and blurry shapes, but slowly his gaze focused on the look of worry and relief on Derek's face. He swallowed and frowned once more, trying to think straight. "What… happened?" His voice sounded off, which wasn't a surprise. His mouth was a dry as a sandpaper.

Hearing him talk seemed to ease Derek's worries. The man's stiff shoulders relaxed slightly. "You… came close to losing the babies. And the doctor wasn't happy with your condition, either. But it looks like all three of you are fine, now, 'though you'll need to stay here for a while."

It took a moment before those words made any sense to Spencer. When they did several surges of emotions washed over him.

The babies… They were okay, both of them. He hadn't lost them, after all. The relief that realization brought was almost overwhelming. He buried his face into one hand, breathing hard. And for the first time in his life he couldn't think, at all. It was a surprisingly pleasant, liberating experience.

He shuddered slightly with surprise when feeling a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?" Derek's voice still held quite a bit of worry although the man clearly fought to keep the tone light. "Don't tell me you're gonna pass out on me again."

A tiny, somewhat raspy chuckle crawled through Spencer's throat. "I'm fine, I just… I'm trying to digest all this." He then came to think of something and cold seeped into his body. He looked at Derek with slightly widened eyes. "Where's Jo?" If she'd been there to see the entire commotion…

"She's with JJ, worried about you but fine. I think she's eaten her weight of mocha ice-cream by now", Derek replied immediately, at least attempting to appear calm and reassuring. "The entire team would've wanted to be here, but they have to catch Blake first."

Spencer nodded and slowly dared to let himself relax against the pillow and mattress, feeling infuriatingly tired.

"You have no idea how badly you scared me." He'd never heard the side-tone that hid in Derek's voice, or seen the look that'd appeared to the older man's eyes. "You almost gave me a damn heart attack."

Spencer fought the desire to look away, feeling like a five-year-old being lectured. Somehow he managed to produce a feeble, sheepish grin. "Sorry?" he offered.

Derek shrugged. Neither noticed how the man's hand took one of his and squeezed. "Just… don't ever do anything like that again. Got that?"

For some reason Spencer felt the urge to laugh. Perhaps it was because of medication and finally fading shock. "You know I can't promise that."

Derek gave him a extremely dry look. "Don't remind me." They were, after all, both sadly familiar with his luck.

The mood was almost peaceful until the room's door suddenly opened after a brief knock. And as soon as Dr. Victoria Riley entered Spencer's entire world froze.

Dr. Riley didn't even have to talk – he already knew.

She swallowed thickly before speaking slowly, quietly. "I've… been trying to call you, and finally heard you're hear an hour ago. I know this is the worst of times, but… It's my duty to tell you." She met his eyes, although he could tell just how much it took of her. "Spencer, last night… Shawn passed away; it looks like his heart failed him." There was a second's pause that seemed to stretch until all eternity. "I… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

Spencer couldn't speak, couldn't process anything of the ton's load swirling inside him. At first he was struck completely numb and paralyzed. But then came the pain. He was dimly aware that his entire body jolted under the brutal attack but he couldn't cry out, much less cry.

Once more Derek's hand squeezed his. He wished from the bottom of his heart that he could've squeezed back, to properly accepted the comfort. The man wanted to say something, Spencer could feel it, but nothing came out.

"Please." It took a blink before Spencer realized that the unfamiliar, raspy voice came from him. He swallowed, but the taste of bile didn't disappear from his mouth. "Please, just… Go, please. For a few minutes. I… I need to…" His lips moved, but nothing came out.

Derek nodded. He could feel his friend's reluctance as the man walked towards the door. "I'll be right in the hallway if you need me, 'k?"

Spencer could only nod, not really managing to focus on anything.

As soon as he was left alone into the room a single tear rolled down Spencer's deathly pale cheek, soon followed by another, then much more. He never noticed any of it.

* * *

Outside the room Derek pulled in sharp breaths that didn't succeed in calming him down at all. His head was so busy with screaming thoughts that the doctor's voice startled him slightly. "I understood you're with the FBI. That you know why Shawn was… guarded."

After a moment's stun he nodded slowly and looked at her with a frown. "Yes. Why?"

She sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair. "Look… I didn't tell Spencer this, because right now he's got far too much to handle already. But…" She swallowed. "The thing is, before last night Shawn was waking up. We were almost ready call Spencer the good news."

Derek felt sick to his stomach. He didn't like where this was going. "Then what the hell happened?"

"We made some tests, and found a extensive – deffinitely lethal – amount of potassium from Shawn's blood." Her eyes flickered with rage. "Someone… Someone managed to get past the guard, and killed him. So… Catch that bastard, and keep Spencer safe. I've seen his little girl, Joey. And I don't want her to lose two parents."

Derek opened his mouth, but before the conversation could continue two doctors walked past them. "'You coming to the briefing, Vicky?" one of them asked.

Skillfully pulling a fake-smile to her face and nodding the woman began to follow them, leaving him to his thoughts.

Derek stood still for about five minutes, his mind trying desperately to process everything. And then he made his decision. As he entered Spencer's room the sight that greeted him made a stab of pain cross his chest.

Spencer's hand shook a little as the man wiped his cheeks, then looked at him. For a moment the younger man's eyes widened as though he'd been caught doing something forbidden. But then, as the situation at hand cleared out, those eyes filled with all Spencer just couldn't disguise. And Derek thought sullenly, bitterly, that compared to this Tobias Hankel hadn't done a thing.

He didn't say anything – he didn't have to. Instead he sat down to the chair he'd been occupying earlier and took Spencer's hand firmly. The brunet squeezed back the best as he could in his current state of mind. Outside sun disappeared into the embrace of greyish clouds.

* * *

Since the FBI decided to turn up the heat in their attempts of finding him Nicholas Blake didn't have many places he could go to. In the end he decided that he was the safest where he was expected the least.

He knew every inch of the university. That's why it was easy for him to wander around the secret hallways and hidden rooms unnoticed. He lurked around, waiting patiently. And that early morning after he'd killed Dr. Shawn Ramos he finally received his reward.

He barely managed to hide into a booth of the school's men's room before two sets of steps walked in. He ignored the conversation that followed as white noise until certain words caught his attention. "… all dead, and… Well, I guess I'm nervous. I mean… What if…?" The speaker trailed off.

There was a loud snort. "Jax, you're being paranoid. Why the hell would the psycho be after you?"

Nicholas' eyes widened and flashed, then narrowed as his memory fed him with details.

Jackson Thompson, 'Jax'. _The fifth_. How the hell had he not figured it out earlier?

"Yeah." The voice was deffinitely man's, although a lot more feminine than Nicholas had known to expect. The brief laugh that followed sounded painfully off. "I'm being stupid, huh?"

"Yeah, you are." The room's door was opened. "See you at Arwell's class."

A loud groan carried to where Nicholas stood. "Don't remind me."

And then Nicholas' prey was all alone.

Quickly and soundlessly Nicholas inched the door to see who he was up against. Jackson was a lot smaller than he'd expected; a rather geeky young man with long grown reddish blond hair and huge eyes that didn't really have any particular color. Nicholas' eyes became steel as he prepared himself.

Loud noises came from the hallway as everyone else disappeared to their classes. Jackson didn't move. Neither did Nicholas.

Emitting a deep, shuddering sigh Jackson splashed some cold water to his face, then made the mistake of going to the empty hallway alone. He never noticed the shadow that began to follow him soundlessly.

* * *

When entering Spencer's hospital room after being called about Shawn by Derek, JJ didn't have a clue what to expect. Her chest stung a bit at what she found.

Spencer wasn't alone, at least. Derek sat in a extremely uncomfortable-looking position on the younger man's bed, one arm wrapped protectively around the brunet so that he'd been able to pull the genius close to him. All that seemed to exist to Derek was the man in his hold. Spencer, on the other hand, was asleep, but the look on the man's all too pale face was nothing even close to a peaceful one.

She might've stood there almost a full minute until Derek finally noticed her. He greeted her with a nod, then released his hold on Spencer although it seemed to be the last thing he wanted to do. As gently as possible the dark-skinned man lay Spencer back down, then climbed out of the bed and motioned her to follow him out of the room.

It wasn't until the door closed Derek dared to speak. "They decided to sedate him before the stress would've brought further harm on him or the babies."

JJ nodded, wondering if anything she could've said would've fit the situation. "How is he?" A stupid question, really, but it was better than silence.

Derek shook his head as a response, then frowned. "Where's Joey?"

"With one of the nurses." She grit her teeth. "I… haven't told her. I don't have a clue how to."

As it turned out Derek didn't seem to hear her last sentence. His eyes flashed as he looked at her. "You left her with a stranger, with everything that's going on?" The volume rose with each word. "What if Blake…!"

"Morgan", she cut in, using her professional tone. "Jo's safe, alright? She's with a healthcare professional, under several pairs of watchful eyes. She's safe." She frowned, trying her best to understand. "I know she's Spence's daughter, but… Why are you so protective of her?"

Having been on the edge all day had exhausted Derek. That's why he blurted out the answer without even realizing it. "Because she's my daughter, too."

JJ felt her heart skip a beat, and she blinked slowly. "What?"

Derek's eyes widened slightly as he realized his slip of a tongue – and widened still when he noticed someone behind her after the sound of something dropping to the floor. Peering over her shoulder JJ felt a sharp twinge when noticing Joey, who was stood nearby with a young female nurse holding her badly shaking hand. The look on her face told all too clearly that she'd heard too much.

Swallowing loudly Derek took a step forward. "Jo…"

The little girl responded with pulling herself free from the stunned nurse's hold and sprinting to a run. Derek moved to follow but JJ interrupted him with a firm shake of head. "Don't, trust me. I'll go and talk to her." Without waiting for his response she left.

JJ noticed with great relief that Joey hadn't gone far. She found the child slumped to a chair in the hallway only some short meters away. The girl's eyes were wide and filled with unshed tears.

JJ approached slowly, and offered a thin smile when the girl looked at her. "Hey. Can I sit with you?"

Joey nodded, looking away, and she sat down next to her. The silence must've lasted for quite a while before the child finally all but whispered. "I like Derek, aunt-JJ. I'm not angry. But I… I don't need another dad." There was another pause before Joey looked at her and continued, her voice filled with childlike confusion. "What should I call him now?"

JJ had hard time maintaining her smile. Unable to resist she pulled Joey into a tight embrace the child accepted gladly. "I'm sure 'Derek' is okay, sweetie." She waited for a while before loosening the hug so that she could meet the girl's face. "What do you say if we'd go for a little ride, just us girls? I happen to know where they make the best pizza." Why not offer the girl a moment of relief before her world would be turned upside down again, even worse this time?

Joey nodded firmly, even attempted to smile.

* * *

Spencer didn't know how long he'd been sleeping when the sound of his cell phone pulled him back to awareness. He was still half asleep as he picked up, never remembering to take a look at who the caller was. "Yeah?"

"_My most sincere condolence to your grief._" Nicholas' voice sent ice-cold shivers down his spine, made his eyes widen. "_I know you're facing… a time of grief. But if you want your daughter to live I suggest you listen to me very, very carefully._"

Spencer had never felt as cold as he did then. His heart skipped several valuable beats. "What?"

"_Right now Joey's on the other side of the street from where I'm standing, in a black SUV with SSA Jennifer Jareau. You know, that pretty blonde whose face is always on television when BAU arranges a press conference. She's much prettier in the flesh._" The was a sharp pause. "_I know she's a capable agent, although she hardly ever heads to the field. But would you really risk letting me approach her – or your daughter?_"

Rage – such that almost suffocated him – swelled in Spencer's throat. "What do you want?"

"_I want you to come to the university, right now. No back up. And make no mistake – if you as much as hint anyone from BAU what's going on these two lovely ladies will pay the price. And don't bother with that watchdog behind your door; he's been… handled._" Nicholas went on before he had the slightest chance of commenting. "_Now hurry up. I'm waiting._" And then the phone call was over.

For a couple of endlessly long moments Spencer stared at his phone, fighting to fully grasp on the situation at hand. Then he did what any father would.

Struggling with himself not to think about the two new lives growing inside him he crawled out of the bed, noticing with dismay just how weak his legs were from lying down so long. Taking a small breather he detached himself from his IV and headed towards the closet that held his own clothes. While proceeding he was all too aware of how his hands were shaking.

As he made it to the door Spencer braced himself for a while to keep his expression at least somewhat in his control before opening the door, dreading what was to come.

He shivered when seeing the man who'd been supposed to guard him – a young male police officer with short dirty-blond hair – slumped listlessly to his chair, clearly out cold. He swallowed thickly before rushing over to the man. A sigh of relief slipped through his lips when he found steady, even breathing and a strong pulse.

The man was merely asleep, most likely under sedatives. The worst he'd get was a headache and a severe bashing from his superior.

Gritting his teeth Spencer decided that he couldn't waste another second. Looking at the police officer with guilt swelling inside him he turned and began to hurry.

* * *

It was twenty minutes later BAU got a call that Spencer had vanished from the hospital. Especially today that information gave them all chills. Because only hours ago they'd found Jackson Thompson's body. Nicholas was eager to finish his job, and they had a sinking feeling Spencer was next on the list.

The terror that grew inside Derek was crushing, made it impossible for him to think clearly, and in the end Aaron ordered him to come to his office for a chat.

For once Derek had luck. Because just as he got up from his seat Penelope Garcia showed up with a very alarming look in her wide eyes. "That video you found from Jackson… I… I think you should see it."

Exchanging frown-filled looks the team followed her to her computer, fearing the worst.

On the video the one holding the camera sneaked closer to sounds of laughter and helpless screams. "_P-Please!_" That voice was deffinitely Nicholas Blake's. The young man was crying. "_You… You can't do this to me!_"

"_Guys, don't you think this is going too far?_" the one fílming – Jackson – asked, sounding unsure.

The team stiffened when Samuel Harvey came towards Jackson with a devilish look in his drunken eyes, holding a knife. "_Unless you want to join that pathetic piece of scum, shut the fuck up, Jax!_" Samuel grabbed Jackson, forcing him to turn. "_Just keep filming._"

With the change of angle the team finally saw what was going on. The sight was sickening.

On the university's football field Nicholas had been tied to a goal post – naked, and covered in tiny cuts. It seemed to be a extremely cold, rainy day, and Nicholas' skin was turning bluish with cold. The young man was shaking violently. Nicholas' wide and terrified, desperate eyes strayed from Alex Thompson and Jeremy Baker to Carlos Juentes, clearly begging for help. Instead of helping, however, the young men cast unsure looks towards Samuel. "_Jax is right – this is going too far_", Carlos pointed out in a slightly shaking tone. "_We should…_"

He was cut off when Samuel put away his knife, revealing a handgun instead. The young man pointed wildly with the gun, arousing screams of fright from the group. The image became unfocused as Jackson stumbled backwards, trembling. "_We made a pact and you're fucking following it!_" Samuel hollered. "_You do as I say!_"

"_Samuel, cut it out!_" someone shrieked.

The camera fell, showing only Jackson's feet as the drunken teen ran away the best as he could. There was a loud gunshot before the screen turned black.

Stunned, horrified silence lingered in the room for the longest time until Penelope spoke in a barely audible voice. "I… I managed to get some information from the hospital." She swallowed, appearing close to throwing up. "No one was shot but Nicholas, he… He was raped, that night."

"Shit…" It was unclear who hissed that.

The silence from before returned, ten times heavier than before. That was until Aaron's cell phone chose to start ringing. The man's eyes were even harder than usual when he picked up. "Yes?" The unit chief listened for a while before half-muttering a 'thank you' and looking at them. "A woman contacted the local police fifteen minutes ago. She saw Nicholas Blake enter the university."

Before any of them could do a thing to stop him Derek was running towards the room's door, making sure his gun was prepared, and disappeared.

* * *

During his time with BAU Spencer had taken several huge, life threatening risks, almost ended up losing his life far too many times. During those events the emotions and surges swirling inside him had been exactly the same ones he experienced that darkening night when entering the nearly pitch black university.

He didn't bother calling out to Nicholas, for he was sure the younger man already knew he was there. And he was right.

He made it to the second floor until he heard a much too familiar voice. "So you finally showed up. I was beginning to worry."

Spencer grit his teeth, turning his gaze towards the voice. Nicholas was even closer than he'd imagined, only steps away in the shadows. His eyes came close to narrowing, which was something almost never seen. "You were threatening the life of my daughter. What was I supposed to do?"

"It's what you get for standing in my way", Nicholas half-hissed. He didn't like the look that flashed in those eyes. "Whatever happens to her is your doing. Just like it's your loud mouth's fault what happened to Shawn – if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had to kill him, he'd still have the chance to wake up. And I didn't want to fucking kill him!"

For several moments Spencer's heart stilled at those words. And then he lost control completely. Absolutely all reason disappeared from his head as he looked into the younger man's completely emotionless eyes. "You… killed him?" He would've never expected such a sound to crawl through his throat, to feel the things that surged under his skin at that moment.

Nicholas nodded, seeming to enjoy his slipping control. "That's right." There was a dangerous moment of silence. "He was very brave. And he fought so very hard. I'm sure his last thought was of you."

Spencer's head spun as far too many emotions pushed towards the suface all at once. The realization hit him with a ton's weight.

This man – or no, monster – had killed his husband, threatened his child. Destroyed his family. The last word any person who'd met him would've chosen to describe him was 'violent'. But at that moment he boiled over.

Later Spencer had absolutely no recollection of the following moments – all he remembered was a hellish burning sensation all over his body. And then his stinging, smouldering eyes were staring at Nicholas' face, took in the blood running from the man's nose and the split lip. Those were his doing, no doubt, although he had severe difficulties believing it.

Nicholas appeared stunned for a moment before grinning. "It's liberating, isn't it? To unleash the beast inside. To let it all loose. It makes you feel alive. We're never as real as we are when we're hit where it hurts the most, when we become the animals we are." Seeming to take in every single flash of emotion on his face Nicholas approached, pulling out something. "It's good, that you're finally truly alive. At least you get a taste before you die."

Without the lump building itself into his throat Spencer would've snorted and retorted. If _this_ was what being alive was supposed to feel like…

And then he saw a knife that shone like liquid silver in the moonlight. Shivers ran down his spine as the crime scene pictures he'd seen flashed into his mind.

Nicholas' eyes weren't anything even close to human as they met his. "I used to admire you, you know? I… I was so sure you'd understand me. That you'd the one to…!" The younger brunet trailed off, taking a couple of steps closer. The man's anxiety seemed to grow when Spencer didn't back away. "I fucking trusted you! You were supposed to support me! You were supposed to understand – and then you talked to them! You betrayed me! You sold me out!"

Wrath swelled inside Spencer once more, and his mind was too overdriven to be able to hold it down. "Even if you'd kill me…", he all but hissed. "… there's no way you'd walk out of this alive. Do you understand that?"

Nicholas shrugged, the look on his face never fading. "After I get this done… Do you really think I care?"

No, Spencer didn't think so. He'd been a profiler too long to imagine such.

And then, so swiftly that it caught him completely off guard, Nicholas moved. Spencer felt a hot flash of pain, then nothing. As he looked down, feeling strangely lightheaded, he realized that there was a wound somewhere close to his ribs. He didn't want to even think how deep it was, but noticed all too clearly that it was bleeding profusedly.

To his surprise the wave of panic that hit him wasn't cold. It was hot, tingled in his veins.

Although Nicholas didn't show a lot of emotion it was clear the young man enjoyed the situation at hand. The brunet's brown eyes gleamed in the dark while savoring every single trace of emotion on his face. "It'll hurt, I promise it will. That's when the fun part begins." The man's eyes flashed. "I don't believe in God, or heaven. But who knows, maybe you'll meet Shawn again. And don't worry, your lovely little girl and agent Morgan will also join you soon enough."

Saying those words was a mistake, because it turned out they gave Spencer the push he needed. Mental snapshots of Joey and Derek flashed before his eyes as he gathered absolutely all the strength there was in him and attacked.

To his great surprise stunned Nicholas actually fell, on the way hitting his head to a shelve that held several trophies from the university sports teams. As though in slowed motion the younger man hit the ground and lay absolutely still, the knife slipping from his hold.

For exactly five stilled seconds Spencer stared. And then he did what any sane person in his condition would've done. He took the knife that'd fallen from Nicholas' grasp and ran, although his progress was more stumbling than anything else.

His vision swayed slightly as he made his way through the university's endlessly long, dark hallways. It felt to him like he'd been stumbling forward for hours until his strength almost gave way and he was forced to lean against a wall, his vision swaying dangerously. Spencer grit his teeth, so hard that the pain helped him regain some focus.

He could _not_ pass out, not now.

Fighting to regain his ability to function he finally came to think of something. His hand was far weaker than he would've liked as he pulled out his cell phone, dialing Derek's familiar number.

_Please, pick up…_

However in a matter of seconds the phone dropped from his hand. Because cold steel was pressed against his neck.

He stiffened and unleashed a tiny sound of discomfort as Nicholas pulled him tightly to his chest and hissed. "Not… a sound." The voice was pure ice, stole whatever little hope there'd been in Spencer.

For some reason Spencer's first conscious thought was to scold himself for not making sure Nicholas didn't have another knife.

The voice he thought he heard coming from the fallen cell phone might've been all in his head. "_Reid, are you in there? I know you're in the university – I'm coming! Just hold on, okay? Just…!_"

The rest, if there was anything, blurred out of his focus when Nicholas' hold on him tightened significantly and the younger man spoke again in that voice that held absolutely no human emotions. "It's finally over now. This is going to end."

Spencer emitted a slight cry of pain when Nicholas pushed him to the floor, so that the impact irritated his former stab wound and all too much pressure was put on his stomach. The younger brunet then kicked him, so that he had to turn to his back.

And once again, for the last time, they were face to face. To Spencer it was terrifying how identical the brown color of their eyes were.

Nothing showing on his face Nicholas knelt to him with the knife held up and ready. "Now let's finish this."

Spencer was sure he'd die, right there and then. And although he'd taken a huge risk in coming to meet Nicholas, in attempting to protect what he still had, he found himself surprised. Fortunately he was so much in a shock from blood loss and the overall situation at hand that his mind worked with chilling lucidity.

As his final attempt to protect his unborn twins he shifted in the very same second Nicholas moved to strike again. This time he didn't feel anything but pressure when the blade struck somewhere around his back. In fact it looked like all his senses were failing him.

The taste of blood disappeared from his mouth, leaving behind only a slight and hollow tingling sensation. He also couldn't hear anymore, which should've alarmed him a lot more than it actually did. Sight was his last remaining sense.

His line of vision was already blurring and narrowing as he miraculously managed to shift – and realized that Nicholas Blake lay on the floor about a step away from him, a pool of blood growing underneath him. And as he lifted his gaze slowly, with far more effort than he'd expected, he found Derek Morgan stood nearby with his gun held high. He'd never seen the kind of a look that burned in the man's eyes just then, as they lingered on Nicholas for a moment before turning to him. That was when Derek moved.

Spencer would've given a lot if he'd been able to hear what Derek said to him while falling heavily beside him, seeming to put pressure on his wounds the best as he could. He thought he saw tears in the man's eyes but it could've been his imagination.

He tried to speak but couldn't even process his thoughts for words, much less utter anything. And that was when his eyesight failed as well.

The last thing he saw before everything turned utterly black was the look of sheer terror in Derek's eyes.

* * *

TBC, for a bit longer.

* * *

A/N: Phew! (wipes forehead) A long, pretty intense chapter this time. Those poor people! (winces)

I don't know how long I still have on my computer before I'll be chased away, BUT… **PLEASE**, leave a note to let me hear your thoughts! This chapter made things spin quite a bit, so I'd love to hear you thoughts. (bats eyelashes cutely) Pwease?

IN THE NEXT ONE: As Reid's life hangs by a very, very thin thread the love-triangle reaches it final point. Will he choose the love in this world, on move on to follow Shawn? The story ALMOST reaches its end in 'Life, Death and the Space in Between'.

Until next time, guys! I'm hoping to see familiar faces…

Peace out!


	6. Life, Death and the Space in Between

A/N: Oh man! I seriously can't believe this is almost ending already. (swallows down a sob) Dang, I'm gonna miss this so much! (sighs)

BUT, before letting you off the cliffhanger I threw at you… THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for those absolutely amazing reviews! (GLOMPS) I can't believe that a sequel can earn this much love. Thank you! (hugs once more, and gives some cookies as well)

Awkay, because I bet you're all itching to get on with the story already… (swallows thickly) I REALLY hope the chapter turns out worth the wait!

* * *

CHAPTER 6 – Life, Death and the Space in Between

* * *

Ever since he was a little child Derek Morgan had hated hospitals. The chilling atmosphere, the stench, the overall presence of death… They still chilled him now, as an adult.

That's why it was surprising that he couldn't feel a hint of abhorrence while sitting in the hospital's waiting room, his head buried into his hands and his whole body shaking. At the moment everything that fit into him was sheer, utter terror. It was something so powerful that he didn't quite know how to handle it.

So he got up and paced until he almost formed a hole to the floor, oblivious to the pitying looks he got from the people passing by.

Twice his heart almost stopped. First when he saw several members of staff rush towards the operating ward with looks of alarm and near-terror on their faces. He didn't dare to relax until ten minutes passed without the news he'd been dreading. The second time came when a doctor entered the room, still wearing his bloodied clothes from the theater and a look of utter sorrow on his face. The doctor walked towards him, making him lose all breath and warmth – before turning and instead approaching a young woman who'd been sitting in the room's corner. The doctor talked for ten seconds before the woman broke down completely. The sound that was torn from her throat would forever haunt Derek's nightmares.

When Derek couldn't walk any longer he sat, waiting helplessly and all alone, until the room's door opened and a familiar group of people entered with grim looks on their faces.

Emily appeared a lot paler than usual while speaking. "Are you okay?"

He gave her a look that said more than any words could've, gritting his teeth to keep himself from saying something he might've ended up regretting. It took quite a bit of him to keep in mind that the situation at hand wasn't her fault, that she didn't deserve to be snarled at.

Penelope was a lot braver as she walked up to him and pulled him into a tight hug, a couple of tears sliding down her cheeks and more visible in her eyes. "You… looked like you could use on of these", she managed.

"Thanks", was all that came out through his throat.

Sombre-faced Aaron and David Rossi didn't say much while entering, but their nods and brief acknowledgements were enough.

Derek then frowned upon realizing that one person was missing. Or two, actually. "Where's JJ?"

Aaron seemed to hold back a sigh. "When she heard about Reid Joey went to visit Shawn's room, and found out. JJ's trying to talk to her."

Derek felt a twinge of pain, followed by a sharp snap of jealousy that wouldn't have fit the situation at hand. She was his daughter, too – he should've been the one to… He cut that line of thought with a deep sigh that almost made him feel dizzy, and let his eyes stray to the clock hanging on the room's wall. How the hell could time move so slowly?

Heavy silence filled the room.

Out of the team's sight in two operating theaters doctors and nurses fought to save two lives.

* * *

A doctor's gray eyes flashed as they took in the damage his team would have to work with. _Shit…!_ "I need suction here. I can't see a thing."

"His oxygen saturation and blood pressure are dropping", a nurse's extremely tight voice announced.

The doctor grit his teeth so hard that the nurse stood nearby heard it and gave him a look. "I know what we all think", he stated through still grit teeth. "But this… This is getting off too easy. So let's try to save this patient."

As if to mock his words some brief seconds later a shrill, chilling sound filled the room as the patient flatlined.

* * *

In the other theater everyone worked as fast as they could, doing whatever there was in their power to save their patient. It was never voiced, but they all knew the bitter truth.

To survive this patient needed a miracle. All their three patients needed a miracle. And the three of them sure as hell would've deserved a miracle right about now.

"He's lost so much blood", the doctor half-muttered while surveying the damage. "And he's still losing blood. Where the hell is he bleeding from?"

"He's going to crash!" a nurse cried out. And at that very second a shrill alarm-sound filled the entire room.

* * *

In a strange world of gray Spencer found himself sorrounded by memories. His life flashed right before his eyes, as though he'd been watching a movie.

His entire childhood, where the line between normalcy and illness had been so thin that he still didn't quite manage to draw it.

His time with BAU; all those horror stories, but also the incredibly good feel of finally having at least some sort of a family.

And of course, as one of the clearest things, he remembered everything he'd shared with Derek. Not just _that_ night, but also the emotional bond he couldn't quite explain. The connection that'd somehow survived through everything.

But with even more force came the flashes of Joey. The day she was born – the endless drive to the hospital through a snowstorm, the terror and excitement, the operating room and the members of staff buzzing around him as the baby was ripped out of him during a Caesarean. Her first cry, the shrill and demanding sound that filled Spencer with something he could've never prepared himself for, no matter how many books he read. How he'd held her for the first time. How she'd grown up, far too fast in his opinion. The first steps, the first smile, the first words, the first everything. Everything about her, down to the last detail.

The memories of Shawn that also came _hurt_, a lot more than he could've ever known to expect. It seemed his mind wanted to focus on all the small things. He remembered that tiny scar on the right of Shawn's forehead, from when the man had fallen with his bike when he was five. He remembered the line that always appeared between his husband's eyes when the man smiled. He doubted Shawn's smell would ever fade from his mind – no matter how intense nightmares he'd had it'd always filled him with reassurance. Just as clearly he could picture how Shawn's skin had felt. And he couldn't imagine never hearing that tiny sound of utter contentment and affection his husband always made when lay beside him in their bed, thinking he was already asleep and wouldn't hear.

And then, suddenly, those memories began to fade and blur together. The shadowy figures in his memories – kissing him, holding him, loving him – became faceless, and he couldn't tell who the voices belonged to.

/ _"I'm not sure if this is the best or worst possible time, but… Will you marry me?"_ /

/ _"You and Jo are the closest thing to a family I have, 'k?"_ /

/ _"Spence, for crying out loud, I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to!"_ /

/ _"I love you."_ /

A tremendous weight of discomfort sat to his chest, and it became painfully hard to breathe. Was he even breathing? It felt like he'd been sliding somewhere far away…

But the strange experience was far from over.

Suddenly Shawn was there, right before him with a smile on his face. And the gray filled with pure, blinding white light.

* * *

In the end Derek couldn't stand staying in the waiting room any longer; it felt like the walls had been closing in on him, and he was getting claustrophobic. After making the others swear they'd come and let him know if there were any news whatsoever he set out to see Joey.

Perhaps he was developing parental instincts or something, after all, because the feelings surging inside him were most deffinitely those of a father. Or so he assumed, with absolutely no first hand experience.

JJ was leaning against the door of Shawn's former hospital room. Hearing his steps she quickly wiped her red, puffy eyes before meeting his gaze. "Jo's inside. She wanted a moment alone", she told him in a barely recognizable voice. She swallowed before trying talking again. "She's… not doing well right now."

Derek nodded. He'd known to expect as much.

JJ frowned when he moved to enter. "Are you sure?"

Derek grit his teeth to control his tone. "Today she's lost a person she considered a parent, and… and her daddy's fighting for his life. So…" He gulped. "I don't know what she thinks of me right now, but I want her to know that I'm here for her."

A tiny, sad trace of a smile appeared to JJ's lips as she nodded. "Good luck."

Derek didn't manage to give anything but a nod as a response. With that he took a deep breath and entered the room. The sight inside broke a piece of his heart.

Joey sat on the bed, with her knees pulled tightly to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Her entire small frame shook with shock and sobs as she cried soundlessly, keeping the howls of pain other children would've given locked inside. Derek had never seen anyone appear quite as lost and utterly miserable before.

And then she noticed him.

Derek wasn't sure which one of them stiffened more as they stared at each other for several endless seconds. A part of him feared and expected her to tell him to go away, to leave her alone. She didn't do anything such. And in a few moments he felt it was safe to move.

Careful to function slowly enough not to startle her he took the few steps required to get to her, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Despite everything she clung to him almost desperately, burying her face into his shoulder. That was when she finally lost all control and her sobs became loud, almost hysterical.

Hearing and feeling her cry Derek squeezed his own eyes tightly shut to keep himself together.

* * *

A collective sigh washed over the entire operating theater when the flat line on the screen gained more shape, and the shrill sound that'd echoed moments ago turned into something a lot more pleasant.

"Blood pressure 72/50 and rising", a nurse informed.

Swallowing thickly the doctor nodded and took a moment to control the shakiness of his hands and breath before attempting to talk. "Let's keep going then, before we'll lose him again."

* * *

In the theater on the other side of the wall the silence was absolute. At some point, it seemed, someone had been functioning well enough to be able to turn off the heart monitor.

A nurse's hand shook a little while she pulled a white sheet to cover the patient.

The doctor didn't manage to speak until everyone in the room was looking at him, waiting. He swallowed loudly. "Time of death, 2:45 am."

* * *

In the small room Derek and Joey occupied time seemed to stand still. Several times Derek blinked furiously, valiantly trying to chase away sleep, tears and dangerous thoughts.

Deciding to coax his mind elsewhere he glanced at Joey's face and felt tempted to smile. At some point all the grief and terror she'd faced in a matter of hours had caught up with her. She was sleeping with a frown on her face, in slumber leaning cautiously against him. He took that as a very slight positive sign.

He shuddered slightly with startle, almost waking up the child, when the room's door opened with a slight sound. He followed the noise, and felt his whole world tilt for a moment when seeing JJ stood by the room's doorway with a unreadable look on her exhausted, tear-stained face. She motioned him to join her in the hallway.

Making sure Joey was resting at least somewhat comfortably Derek got up, fighting the desire to wince at how stiff and sore his muscles were. "Well?" he demanded as soon as he was in the hallway and the door had been closed. His tone was a lot sharper than he'd meant it, but at the moment he didn't manage to care.

JJ seemed to swallow a huge breath. "The damage… was bad, and Spence lost a lot of blood. They came close to losing him a couple of times. But… He's a fighter, Morgan." For a moment the slightest trace of a smile could be seen on her face. "He's in recovery right now, and he'll spend a couple of days in the ICU, but… If nothing unexpected happens, the doctor's convinced he'll recover fully."

The flood of relief almost swept Derek off his feet, and he had to blink furiously at the stinging of his eyes.

Spencer… was going to be fine? They weren't going to lose him? It felt almost too good to be true.

"And Morgan…" JJ's voice was hesitant once more. "Nicholas Blake… He died during the surgery."

Derek nodded stiffly. If he was fully honest with himself he didn't give a damn, merely dismissed the information with thinking 'I'm going to have a ton of paperwork'. It wasn't until the initial shock faded Derek came to think of something. A tremor of chills went through him before he spoke. "What about the twins? Did they…?" His mouth refused to produce the rest.

There was a moment of loaded silence before JJ spoke quietly. "It's… still a touch-and-go for them. The doctor…" She shook her head and blinked rapidly. "He just doesn't know."

Derek closed his eyes and focused on breathing while rubbing his face with one hand. It wasn't until then he realized just how exhausted he was.

So exhausted that JJ managed to startle him with talking softly. "The doctor said no one's allowed to see Spence until he's woken up properly, and it may take hours. You should try to get some rest – you look like hell."

Derek gave a slightly shaky snort. "Thanks."

"Seriously, Morgan." She gave his shoulder a slight squeeze. "I… told this nurse about Jo, and… Well, she pulled some strings. You and Jo can crash here for tonight. So sleep – you need it as much as Spence does."

"Don't worry, JJ." They looked to side to see Penelope approaching. She was dragging along a huge bag that suggested she'd half-emptied the hospital's gift-shop. The computer-wizard's grin was slightly off but nonetheless present. "I'm going to make sure he doesn't wander around all night."

Derek gave something that felt dangerously lot like a pout. "Thanks, baby-girl, but I don't need a babysitter."

Penelope half-swatted, half-caressed his head. "Yes, you do, and so does Jo. And since I'm not allowed to go and see our boywonder I also need someone to babysit. So you're stuck with me."

Somehow, despite the weight of that night's events, Derek felt the tiniest of smiles sneaking to his face. "Thanks."

After saying brief byes to JJ and promising to call her if anything would change they tiptoed into Shawn's former room. As soon as they entered Joey shifted and stirred. "Daddy?"

Derek felt a sharp stab of pain, and it took his all not to let it show. He grit his teeth before talking. "No, just me and aunt-Penelope." He tried his hardest to smile and hoped from the bottom of his heart he succeeded. "But… Your daddy's going to be just fine. You'll get to see him tomorrow, after he's slept for a while."

For the first time that night he saw hope in Joey's eyes. "Really?" Her voice was tight with nearly exploding hope.

He nodded, walking close enough to ruffle her hair. He was glad she accepted his touch. "Yeah. He's… just sleeping. And you should rest, too. I bet daddy would be upset if he knew you're up this late."

I didn't cross his mind that he'd said something wrong until Joey looked down, clearly working her hardest to hold back a surge of emotions. "I know." Her voice was barely audible. "He always tells me that and sits with me until I fall asleep, when I wait for papa-Shawn to come home from work." Clearly using past tense was still too painful.

Not knowing what to say Derek simply nodded, and sat to the bed as she relaxed slowly, almost carefully. "I know it hurts now, a lot. But… Eventually it'll get easier, you'll know what to do with all your feelings. I promise." He breathed heavily. "But for now, try to sleep, 'k? It's the best you can do for your daddy."

Joey nodded, her eyelids already drooping. "G'night, Derek."

He pulled in a sigh while watching her fall asleep promptly. "G'night, kid." He wasn't sure if she even heard him.

As soon as the little girl was asleep Penelope spoke, her voice filled with sorrow. "Poor little thing. She's got a lot to deal with."

Derek nodded, slowly getting up from the bed and taking the chair nearby. His eyelids were already incredibly heavy. "Yeah, she does." Looking at her he found it very, very hard to believe that there was any justice left in the world.

He was, apparently, even more exhausted than he'd first thought. Because before he knew it he'd closed his eyes and fallen into a light, fitful sleep. In sleep he could've sworn he heard Penelope humming softly in attempt to comfort and calm herself.

* * *

As Derek glanced towards the clock upon waking up with sore, stiff muscles he discovered that it was barely even five in the morning. Looking around he discovered that Joey and Penelope were still asleep, the child mumbling something incoherent. Derek wondered with a some worry if Joey was having a bad dream, but didn't dare to disturb her rest.

Besides, there was something he _needed_ to do, and he was planning on doing it alone.

Careful not to wake up the ladies he struggled his way out of the bed, put on his shoes and half-tiptoed to the room's door.

It was surprisingly easy to find the ICU ward. Actually getting to see Spencer, however – especially at such hour – was a whole another matter.

He didn't know how long he'd been nearly fighting with a tiny, slightly rat-looking male nurse who blocked his path before a middle-aged female nurse with unruly black hair and warm green eyes showed up. She gave him a single look before talking. "Wesley, let him through." She went on when the man opened his mouth to argue. "He wants to see Dr. Reid, right?" The woman looked at him with a smile. "I know it's against the protocol, but I think he deserves this much. Just don't excite him if he wakes up, got that?"

Derek nodded, his mind blatantly refusing to register the 'if'. "I won't."

The woman – Lily, her nametag announced – gestured him to follow. "He's on as much medication as we dare to give him, given his pregnancy." It was surprising how easily she said the last word. "We'd like to make him feel a bit more comfortable, but I understood he had a request considering pain medication?"

Derek nodded. It looked liked he'd suddenly lost his ability to speak.

And then, far sooner than he would've felt ready for it, they were stood before Spencer's bed. As soon as he saw all the tubes, machines and monitors – not to mention how utterly fragile Spencer looked – Derek froze completely. He couldn't move, or even think properly. Perhaps it could be called a state of shock?

In any other situation it would've looked comical how he – a grown man, a FBI-agent no less – shuddered at Lily's words. "Well how about this!" She seemed openly surprised, but also encouragingly happy, while pointing towards the heart monitor. "Do you see that?" In all honesty he didn't really see anything he would've understood. Lily seemed to realize that, because she went on with a huge grin. "It looks like he's as eager to see you as you are to see him. He's waking up."

Derek's heart jumped all the way to his throat. "Oh", was all that made it through his throat.

Lily gave him a look of sympathy and squeezed his shoulder. It looked like she could read his mind better than he did. "I'm giving you fifteen minutes", she announced softly on leaving.

Staring at Spencer – the man he cared about beyond everything – Derek was at a sudden loss of words. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to talk when he couldn't even think straigth? And then his time to think ran out, because Spencer's eyes fluttered open.

At first Spencer blinked several times, as though having difficulties with figuring out exactly where he was. But then, as it all cleared out, the brunet's brown eyes filled with moisture and the younger man's breathing pattern changed. The heart monitor showed significant rise of blood pressure and beeped loudly in protest.

Derek nearly jumped before taking Spencer's hand as tightly as he dared to. "Hey, hey! Take it easy." He trailed off, suddenly not quite knowing what to say. "Just… Just calm down. Focus on breathing."

Miraculously enough Spencer was coherent enough to comply. The brunet closed his eyes while taking deep, even breaths, and for a moment Derek was worried the younger man had passed out. But then those eyes opened slightly once more. Derek had a sinking feeling that the pain he saw in them was far more emotional than physical. It took ages and visible effort before Spencer managed to utter words. "Jo? The twins?"

Derek had no idea how to answer that without upsetting Spencer. He closed his eyes for a second and chose his words carefully. "Joey's… as fine as possible, all things considered. She's with Penelope." There was a pause that became a lot longer than he would've wanted. "The twins… They're hanging in there, with all they have. They're not giving up, so… We'll see. And if all goes well, the doctor said it'd be a good idea if you spent the rest of the pregnancy in bed rest."

It was impossible to read all the emotions that lingered in Spencer's eyes as the brunet tried to digest the information. Derek wondered if the younger man registered himself squeezing the hospital gown's fabric covering his abdomen with desperate force.

"And Nicholas?" Spencer's question surprised them both, almost as much as the openly hostile tone. Neither one of them was used to the brunet feeling such hate towards someone.

Derek fought with himself for a while, but in the end decided that the younger man deserved to know. He monitored Spencer's face carefully in case of emotional overload while talking. "He… got hurt pretty badly, when I shot him. He died on the operating table."

Spencer's eyes widened just a little bit, and the man's pupils dilated while the little color there'd been on the brunet's face disappeared. It took a tiny lifetime before the man spoke, so quietly that Derek barely heard. "I know it's wrong, to be happy that he's dead. But…" The rest faded away.

Derek shook his head, fighting the lump that was trying to form in his throat. "I don't think anyone could blame you", he noted. He waited until Spencer seemed to be a little bit more at ease with himself before speaking again. "Do you… want to talk about it?" Heaven knows he wasn't much of a talker, but for Spencer he'd deffinitely try.

Clearly visible discomfort could be seen in Spencer's eyes while the man shook his head. "No. Not yet." The brunet stiffled a yawn and gave him a apologetic look, appearing even more drowsy than before. The emotional load was clearly taking its toll. "'Sorry. I'm not much of company."

"Well you should be resting", Derek pointed out, although it felt incredibly good to see the brunet awake – alive. He decided to leave even if it was the last thing he wanted to do. "Take a nap. I'll go and tell Joey you woke up. I have a feeling it'd cheer her up."

Spencer attempted to smile. It was welcomed, although failed miserably. "Thanks." Before that word was even out properly the brunet had drifted into a sleep.

For about a minute Derek stood absolutely still, just looking at Spencer's sleeping face without being able to tell why he felt a sudden, foreign need to cry. Then he took a firm hold of himself, turned around and forced himself to leave.

* * *

Spencer's sleep wasn't peaceful. Whenever he drifted further he saw horrifying nightmares that included Nicholas, Shawn, Joey and even Derek. About every ten minutes he came an inch from waking up fully when a nurse came into the room to check up on him. Medication was messing with his head, so he wasn't sure if someone tried to convince him into eating at some point. Food, however, was the last thing he wanted.

But then the sounds of small, hesitant steps pulled him completely back into awareness. With a slight frown he struggle his eyes halfway open, and in a few moments the blurry figure stood some steps away focused. He blinked when realizing that the arrival was Joey. His heart broke at how wary, sad, lost and tired she looked.

And here he'd tried so hard to keep her from having to grow up too fast…

"Daddy?" she whispered in a weak, hesitant tone.

Spencer attempted to smile and hoped with his all it succeeded. "I'm okay, Jo-Jo. ", he attempted to comfort her although his voice was pathetically weak and raspy. "I'm fine." Or at least he hoped he'd be, eventually.

Joey glanced nervously towards all the tubes and wires connected to him. "What about all that… stuff?" she asked quietly, her voice shaking a little.

Suddenly Spencer didn't have the strength to talk anymore, but at least he could do _something_. Careful to use the hand that didn't have IV attached to it he gestured her that it was okay to come closer. Joey didn't hesitate for even a second.

Spencer worked his hardest not to yelp with pain when she all but jumped into the bed and hugged him tightly, irritating his still fresh wounds and sore abdomen. In a couple of moments he wrapped his arms around his daughter and pulled her as close as his injuries allowed him to. As her dad he noticed far too easily how her tiny frame shook with sobs she'd probably been holding back for a while. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, noticing with dismay that he couldn't keep a couple of tears from slipping to his own cheeks.

Their family had been smashed to pieces. He'd almost lost his life as well, not to mention the lives inside him. Joey had come close to losing two parents instead of one. The new scars they'd received were fresh and sore, and Spencer was all too sure they'd never fade. And he also knew, so well that it hurt, that now they'd have to face the hardest part.

They'd have to survive.

Neither of the two noticed how Derek stood a slight distance away for a few moments with a unreadable look in his eyes before turning and leaving soundlessly.

* * *

_Two Weeks Later_

* * *

Spencer _hated_ black color, for his built-in encyclopedia knew far too many dark meanings to the color. And that miserably cold, rainy day he hated it more than ever before as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

He'd slept about ten minutes the night before, and at the moment he noticed bitterly clearly how his black tuxedo made his chalk-white skin and the dark bags under his eyes stand out. He looked like hell. And he didn't give a damn.

Statistically, how many people managed to look even decent the day they had to bury their spouse, the day they truly had to face the words 'until death do us part'?

He must've been zoning out for a while, because there was a look of concern on Derek's face as the man appeared to stand behind him. "Are you okay?"

He tried to offer the older man a thin smile. "Depends on your deffinition."

"Hmh." Meeting his eyes through the mirror Derek brushed his cheek uncharacteristically affectionally and squeezed his shoulder. "We should leave in about ten minutes. But… If you don't feel up to it…"

Spencer shook his head, so quickly that he managed to make himself slightly woozy. A huge lump formed in his throat. "I… I'll be right downstairs, 'k? Just… Take care of Jo."

Derek nodded, although the man didn't appear quite willing to leave. The older man's lips opened, but instead of speaking the man gave him a one more look and left, on his way making sure the room's door was left open.

As soon as he was alone Spencer inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

After he'd been discharged from the hospital only days ago, with the unborn twins still in great danger, it'd been clear he'd need someone to stay with him for a while. Going home, where all the memories of Shawn still lingered clearly, would've been too much for him and Joey to take on their own. Derek had immediately offered, although the man was still struggling to determine where he stood with Joey now that the girl knew the full truth about her heritage. The three of them living together… It wasn't easy, to any of them. But right now they also needed each other, needed at least some semblance of a family to keep their remaining sanity intact. As for the rest… They just had to pick it up as they went, step by step.

Spencer opened his eyes again. In some other situation the extremely uncharasteristic steely look on his face might've amused him. Now he barely noticed it.

It was time to go and face the inevitable, wasn't it?

Taking a one more deep breath and feeling like there'd been a ton of things left unsaid blocking his throat Spencer turned around and headed towards the room's door. On his way he could've sworn that for a fleeting second he felt a familiar touch on his face. And he didn't feel quite as cold anymore.

* * *

TBC, for a epilogue.

* * *

A/N: Uh-huh! Talking about a tight spot, huh? But at least Reid survived, although he's got a long way to recovery ahead of him. (winces)

Okay, I know this is getting infuriating, but… I've noticed that this story sort of lacks MorganxReid, you know? Those two poor things haven't gotten their chance. Sooo… **I've got a suggestion.** Would you like to read a sort of a sequel (perhaps more like a companion, or something) for these two fics? It'd throw the story some years forward in timeline, and reveal how the relationship between those two turned out. It'd be three of four chapters long. Would you be interested to read it? I feel like it'd finally sum up and finish the story completely.

PLEASE, send a review to let me know your thoughts on the suggestion and this chapter! Awww, c'mon, Christmas is approaching and it'd earn you some extra points from elves…

IN THE NEXT ONE: This story reaches its end in a epilogue, where the fate of the twins is finally revealed. And what about our favorite couple? Will their love get a chance?

Until next time, folks! I really hope you'll stick around for the finalle.

Peace out!


	7. Epilogue

A/N: Uh-huh… (blinks furiously) I seriously can't believe this story's coming to an end (or this part of the trilogy, should I say)! Dang, writing this has been so much fun. (sighs)

BUT, before letting you get to the epilogue… Thank you so much for those absolutely fantastic reviews! (GLOMPS) It means a lot that so many of you have been sticking around through this entire ride, you know? You make this lil' story feel very, VERY loved! (hugs again)

Awkay, before I get any more emotional, let's get on with the story! (takes a deep breath) I really, really hope you'll enjoy the ride!

* * *

CHAPTER 7 – Epilogue

* * *

_Six Months Later_

* * *

During the past six months Derek had found himself basically moving into Spencer and Joey's house. Saying it was a easy arrangement would've been a huge lie; most of the time it was anything but. It was hard for Derek to watch how Joey struggled to figure out how she should be around him, to understand what he expected of her. No amount of convincing from his part managed to calm her down. The most painful part was to watch how she tried furiously to hide her grief over losing Shawn whenever she was around him. It was as though she'd been afraid she'd hurt his feelings if she longed for the person who'd helped raise her. And granted, being around Spencer wasn't much easier. Their relationship… was something Derek was still, after so many months, hopelessly trying to determine. Perhaps there was no deffinition for it. They were dear friends, deffinitely. Derek was fairly sure he was the only person Spencer had allowed around when the brunet cried, and he was thrilled the genius seemed to find him trustworthy enough to let some of that damn shell around him crack. Visiting the doctor for the sake of the twins that'd miraculously survived this far, those occasional times when Spencer accidentally fell asleep next to him when they were watching TV too late… There was a ton of tiny moments Derek cherished. But they were all stained by the bitter, undeniable fact that with all his heart he would've wanted more. Every bloody time they were only an inch of kissing, all those times when he actually managed to make Spencer smile, every time he touched the brunet… Derek was a impatient man, and he'd never been tried so hard in his life. But this small, constantly weakening rational part inside him tried to reason that the slow pace was needed. If he ever wanted to have a relationship with Spencer that stood on firm, honest ground he needed to let the shadows and ghosts of past be dealt with first. If he ever wanted to be truly worthy of Spencer's trust he needed to give the brunet that time and space, no matter how anxious several parts of his body and mind were becoming.

And yes, it was the tiny moments that made the wait worth it. Like this insanely early morning when Derek miraculously found himself waking up before Spencer. He took that as a good sign. At least tonight the brunet hadn't been up until the little hours to avoid even more nightmares, keeping himself functional with the power of caffeine.

Unable to hold himself back Derek found himself heading towards the bedroom that now only belonged to Spencer. What he found made him smile.

Apparently the night before it'd been Joey's turn to have bad dreams, because at some point she'd sneaked into her daddy's bed. At the moment both dad and daughter were fast asleep with content expressions. Spencer's arm was wrapped protectively around the little girl while she'd snuggled as close to his warmth as possible.

Derek Morgan had never felt more at home in his life. And it felt so damn good that it almost suffocated him.

He blinked twice to organize his spinning thoughts when Spencer moved all of a sudden, then stirred slowly with a frown and wrinkled nose. And then, just as Derek was fighting against the urge to chuckle at the endearing sight, the genius looked directly at him.

Most people would've been, if not upset, at very least extremely irritated about being stared at during their sleep. But Spencer wasn't most people, especially when half-asleep. The brunet blinked twice, clearly trying to wake up, before speaking in a sleepy tone. "How… long have you been there?"

Derek hoped from the bottom of his heart he wasn't as close to blushing as he feared. "Just a moment", he answered far too hastily, forcing his tone casual. "You were still asleep, so I… thought I should come over, and check up on you." It was half-true, anyway.

Spencer unleashed a tiny sound Derek couldn't name, rubbing his face with one hand. "How many times do I have to tell you that…?"

"… you don't need a babysitter. I know, I know." He grinned, revealing a row of teeth. "But watching you sleep is kind of entertaining."

A blush brought some healthy glow to Spencer's face, made the man appear even more adorable than few moments ago. Made the temptation even harder for Derek to handle.

Derek opened his mouth, feeling a sudden need to say something, but never managed to voice his thoughts. Because just then Spencer gave something between a gasp and whimper, hastily bringing a hand to his huge baby bump. All color drained from the brunet's face.

Derek felt all too familiar panic spread through his body. After about a million journeys to the hospital – because of bleeding, unbearable cramps and many other reasons he hadn't even known existed – this scene was unnervingly familiar. "What's wrong?" slipped through his lips instinctively, almost mechinally.

Spencer's eyes were huge and filled with panic when finding his, but they also held something he'd never seen before. "I… I think it's time to go." The man swallowed thickly, squeezing his hand even more tightly against his abdomen. "The babies… They're coming."

Derek had felt panic about a hundred times before because of Spencer. But nothing could've prepared him for what he experienced at that moment.

* * *

Anyone observing Spencer and Derek that morning would've had a good laugh.

Derek panicked – there was no other, less embarrassing word to describe it. This was a man giving birth in his hands. How the hell was he supposed to know what to do? He ran around, starting a million tasks but never managing to finish a single one of them.

It was pure humiliation, and Derek was utterly relieved no one was there to see it. Because Derek Morgan did _not _panic.

And Spencer… For the first time since he heard about the pregnancy Spencer was completely calm, almost unnervingly so. There was a warm, nearly content look on his face as he woke up Joey, reassured the child that everything was just fine and made sure his go bag for the hospital had everything necessary. The entire time he didn't seem to be able to not touch his stomach, to stop giving it soft caresses. Derek had only ever seen him so calm, content and composed in sleep. And then, on their way to the hospital, the contractions kicked in.

Derek gave Spencer a very nervous look through the rearview mirror. The look he saw on the brunet's face made him kick gas pedal until he broke every single speed limit. "Are you hanging in there?"

Spencer nodded faintly, focusing firmly on breathing. "Did you know that… that Sunday is the least common day for childbirths?" the brunet managed, every single one of his facial muscles so tense it hurt to watch. "It's… It's a fucking Sunday, today."

Joey's eyes widened as she looked at Spencer. "Daddy, you said a bad word!"

Derek had to bite the inner part of his mouth to smother a laugh. "Oh, trust me kid, you'll be hearing a lot more of those before he reach the hospital."

And Derek was right. He could've never, ever imagined that Spencer could possibly have such vocabulary the man practically snarled out during the ride. Several times Derek felt the need to put his hands to Joey's ears so the blanch faced girl's eidetic memory wouldn't register and record even more unneeded material than it already had.

Derek almost exclaimed out of relief when they finally reached the hospital. He parked in a way that'd most deffinitely earn him a yet another parking ticket, then rushed out of the vehicle and blatantly ignored Spencer's protests when scooping the brunet into his arms. And just then another car arrived to the parking lot, pulling to the empty stop near his car with a deafeningly loud screech.

Penelope's eyes were wide as she emerged from the newly arrived vehicle. "The traffic was murder!" she half-exclaimed before focusing her attention on the brunet in Derek's arms. Her eyes gained a look of deep sympathy. "Hey, boywonder. How are you doing?"

Spencer's sour look answered far more effectively than any words.

Penelope looked at Derek, visibly stiffling laughter. "I think it's high time you take him inside." She then glanced at Joey with a grin. "You and I, let's go and explore the cafeteria."

Joey nodded excitedly, at least for the time being forgetting to worry.

If Derek was fully honest, later on he couldn't remember much of what happened next. He dashed into the hospital, and in an instant there was what looked like a small army of people taking Spencer from him and rushing into the depths of the building with the brunet as their prey. One nurse, at least, had the decency of staying behind. With a gentle look on her face she explained that Derek couldn't come to the operating theater for reasons that'd forever remain as mystery to him. And then she disappeared as well, leaving him all alone with a hurricane of thoughts and emotions.

For three minutes Derek stood absolutely still. Then, very slowly, he blinked. And found his thoughts straying towards Shawn.

Shawn… would never get the chance to see his twins, to raise them. To become a dad for them. But…

_You did good job raising Jo for me_, Derek mused, his expression very serious. _Maybe I can return the favor._

Now if only he'd manage to stop feeling like throwing up first.

* * *

To Derek it took decades, and longer. But eventually the same nurse who'd stayed behind to explain things to him walked up to Derek. There was a bright smile on her face.

Spencer had, apparently, done a good job. The C-section went exactly as it was supposed to, without any drama or complications. He was fast on his way to recovery, and the twins… As far as it was possible to tell they were very small, but perfect and healthy.

Spencer Reid was a very, very proud daddy of a tiny baby-girl and a baby-boy.

Derek wasn't entirely sure why, but half an hour after hearing the news he entered Spencer's room carefully, as though he'd been afraid of disturbing someone. What he found inside made him feel warm all over.

Looking at Spencer it was almost impossible to believe the ordeal he'd gone through. There was a slight rosy hue on the brunet's face as he looked at the twins, who were sleeping utterly contentedly in their tiny bed.

It wasn't until Derek spoke with a grin the brunet noticed him. "It's pretty hard to look away from them, isn't it?" Feeling strangely insecure for some reason he revealed the two extremely adorable teddy-bears he'd bought from the hospital's giftshop. "I… suppose congratulations are in order."

Finally, almost for the first time since Shawn's death, Spencer's smile reached the brunet's eyes as the younger man accepted the offering. "Thank you." The genius glanced towards the babies. "They just fell asleep."

Derek nodded, unable to look away from the twins. Although they were still tiny and had inherited several little things from Shawn, they appeared so familiar it was shocking. "They look just like you", he half-murmured.

"That's what the midwife said", Spencer answered after a moment, his voice holding a slight edge. "I'm… not sure if that's a good or bad thing."

Derek had to grit his teeth together to keep himself from saying something dangerous. Instead he chose a topic he thought to be more harmless. "Do you have names for them?"

The way Spencer stiffened gave away that the topic was sore. "Shawn and I… We talked about names, before my miscarriages and Jo's birth. But… There was never anything solid." The brunet swallowed, focusing on the babies. "The boy… I think I'll name him Jayson Sean Reid."

Derek felt a sharp twinge he deffinitely wasn't proud of. "I… bet Gideon would be happy to hear that", he barely managed, not daring to look Spencer's way. "And Shawn, too." He went on once he could no longer take the heavy pause that followed. "What… about the girl?"

That actually pried a tiny smile to Spencer's face. Their gazes finally met. "I've been thinking about naming her Abigail Morgana Reid."

At first Derek simply stared. But then, very slowly, a tiny smile made its way to his lips. "Morgana, huh?"

Spencer nodded, appearing slightly more serious than before. "Without you none of us would be here today. So… It's the least I can do."

As they looked at each other the moment snatched Derek along with terrifying force. He licked his lips, then leaned towards Spencer's slightly parted lips.

And that was the furthest he got. Because just then what felt like a hurricane entered the room after a brief knock. "Oh… my gosh!" Penelope cooed as she made her way to the twins, soon followed by the rest of the team. "Sweetie, these two are so adorable I could eat them up!"

Emily seemed to hold back a laugh at the look that flashed on Spencer's face for a moment. "It's just a figure of speech, Reid", she pointed out.

David smirked while looking at the babies. "You did damn good job, kid", the man complimented with utmost sincerity.

Spencer smiled, just a little bit but still. "Thanks."

JJ, always the most openly affectionate one of the team, made her way to Spencer and gave the brunet a huge hug, clearly forgetting the surgery the man had been through. "Congratulations, Spence. I'm so glad that these two are finally here."

Spencer nodded, a bit more serious than before. "So am I."

Just then baby-Jayson began to move around and stir, clearly waking up. To everyone's stun Aaron was the first one to approach the child. It was clear the man had a lot of flashbacks of Jack as a newborn. "May I…?"

Spencer nodded without the slightest bit of hesitation. "Of course."

Aaron's motions were experienced and calm as the man took the baby, lifting the tiny one first into his arms and then to his shoulder. For about a minute the sight was absolutely heartwarming – until Jayson's stomach, apparently, chose to protest. No one in the room managed to control themselves as the baby puked gloriously to the jacket of Aaron's suit.

Derek felt incredibly good as he realized that for the first time in over six months Spencer also laughed openly, although valiantly trying to hold himself back. "Hotch, I'm… I'm so sorry!" the brunet managed through bursts of laughter. "I should've told you I fed him fifteen minutes ago."

To everyone's utter stun Aaron smiled, barely noticeably but still, unable to look away from the baby. "It's okay."

"Don't worry about it", Derek adviced. "I bet he's got one huge closet full of those jackets."

About half a minute later they all glanced towards the room's door when it opened. Joey stood there frozen, clearly very uncomfortable with all the attention. She swallowed thickly. "Hey."

Spencer gaver his older daughter a small smile. "Do you want to see your brother and sister?"

Still slightly hesitant Joey entered properly and approached. She revealed a card that had a picture of a heron flying through the clouds, carrying a baby. "Aunt-Penelope helped me pick a card", the little-girl explained.

Spencer gave a nod of approval while accepting the offering. "Well you deffinitely chose well." The brunet then gestured towards the twins. "That little-one uncle-Aaron is holding is your brother. And it looks like your sister is starting to wake up." The man looked from the yawning baby to a slightly startled looking Joey. "Would you like to hold her?"

Joey looked at her dad with wide eyes. "What if I hurt her?"

Spencer smiled. "Don' worry, you won't. I'll show you how to do it."

Derek couldn't hold back a smile while watching how Spencer instructed Joey as she took her baby-sister with utmost care, then held the baby as though handling a piece of glass. Both Derek's and Spencer's eyes softened as their gazes met.

Derek wasn't sure if he could call their strange, now grown unit a family just yet. But whatever they were they'd been through hell together. Maybe now, finally, they were on their way towards something good.

* * *

Five days later the cemetery was almost eerily quiet while a lone figure made his way through the rows of tombstones, never noticing the cold breeze spinning around him.

Finally making it to his planned destination Spencer froze completely, his eyes becoming glued to the words on the headstone.

'Shawn Alexander RamosA beloved husband, family-member and friend'

Spencer wasn't sure how long he'd stood there until he finally managed to speak after swallowing loudly. "Hey", he barely even whispered, his eyes stinging so badly he had to narrow them. "I… I'm sorry I haven't visited lately, but… I've been kind of busy." He took a deep breath to discover it didn't help at all. "I… brought along two people. I bet you'd love to see them." His motions gentle he moved the cover of a dark-blue twin carriage to reveal the babies. "These… These are Jayson and Abigail. They're the twins I told you I was expecting while you were… sleeping, remember?" His throat was so tight talking was almost impossible. His breathing became labored. "You can't even imagine how… how much I would've wanted you to meet them, to be there for them when they grow up. Because… Because I know you would've been a fantastic dad, and you would've loved them more than anything. But…" He swallowed once more, wiping away the single tear that rolled with a trembling hand. "But I swear I'll raise them as well as I can – I'll love them enough for both of us. And… And I'll make sure they get to know you, that they'll learn to love you, too."

Silence fell as Spencer stood there, almost like waiting for some sort of a response to his words. Cold wind blew, making the two new tears on his cheek feel like ice.

It took a mighty while before he managed to continue in a voice that didn't sound anything like his. "It… It may take a while before I can visit you again. But… That doesn't mean I would've forgotten, or that I wouldn't love you anymore. Don't ever think that. Because I… I do love you, a lot. And…" He blinked furiously, pleased to discover that he managed to keep tears at bay. "I guess I wanted to say thank you, for everything."

"Reid?" Derek's voice made him shiver slightly. The man was standing about eight steps away, looking at him with a worried frown. "Are you ready to go?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He took a second to collect himself. "Let's go home."

As they left he cast a one more, fleeting look towards the tombstone. Perhaps his imagination was playing tricks on him, because he could've sworn he saw Shawn stood there, watching over him as he headed towards a new future. Spencer didn't resist when Derek wrapped one arm around him.

Suddenly the air around Spencer didn't feel as cold anymore.

* * *

'_Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family._'

(Anthony Brandt)

* * *

**_End, at least for now._**

**_

* * *

_**

A/N: Oh wow… (blinks furiously) I seriously can't believe it's already over! I'm going to miss this story so much. (sighs and wipes eyes)

BUT… (gulps) How was that ending – any good, at all? **PLEASE**, let me hear your thoughts! Especially because this was the final chapter it'd mean A LOT to me. (gives puppy's eyes) Christmas is approaching, remember? Earn some good karma. (grins cheekily)

Ah, yes, and to those curious… **This story will get a companion**, which will consist of three or four chapters and include A LOT of MorganxReid. The sequel/companion will be named 'Sweet Life of Mine', and it WILL be the final piece of the 'Sweet… of Mine' trilogy.

Three years later Reid and Morgan live a hectic life with three children. But how has their relationship developed over time? And what happens when Shawn's enstranged parents show up to meet their grandchildren?

BUT, all that later. As for now…

THANK YOU, from the very bottom of my heart, for all those reviews and listings, and of course for reading! It's been a incredibly good ride, thanks to you guys. (grins, and HUGS) So thank you!

Until next time, folks, which whichever story that may be!

Take care!


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